Lucille (The Walking Dead)

Human

My body felt hollow the more I thought about him. I grabbed my knees and tried to think of anything I could do to get out of here with Daryl with me. I knew I would never get away with killing Negan but it was the only thing I could think of. I sat up off the ground it wasn't killing Negan that was the answer, it was going along with what he wanted that would be more beneficial. I sighed and put my head on the bed. It would help if I knew exactly what he wanted from me in the first place. There were so many things unanswered and when I would try to get answers it would just turn into more questions.

I felt the intense growl of my stomach again. I had forgotten that I still haven't eaten since before we were caught. My eyes wandered over to the kitchen counter. Unable to stop myself, I got up and walked toward the cabinets half expecting it to be nothing more than random canned beans. But when I opened it I found it to be filled with things I didn't think were around much anymore. Lay's Original chips, Ritz crackers, and easy cheese. I grabbed my stomach at the sight of food and sighed to myself. I grabbed a plate and got out the cracker and the cheese. With the crackers spread out, I sprayed the cheese on it. I couldn't help but start humming 'Put it on the Ritz' as I walked around the room there wasn't much but I did notice the makeshift closet in the corner with a few nice things like dresses and more blouses. I couldn't imagine putting on a dress, I didn't even wear dresses before the walkers.

"If you're blue and you don't know where to go to- "I sang lightly as I turned my attention to the TV stand. It was a small TV but it had a DVD player connected to it. I opened the drawers and had to smile to myself at the collection of movies sitting there. I eyed them curiously but didn't want to think much about having time to watch them. "why don't you go where fashion sits? Puttin' on the Ritz." I started to walk back to the piano and tried to figure out the tune of the song with the keys. I sat the plate of crackers down which only had a few left and I played with keys until it started to sound right.

"Dressed up like a million-dollar trouper, trying hard to look like Gary Cooper, Super Duper. Come, let's mix where Rockefeller's walk with sticks or umbrella in their mitts, Puttin' on the Ritz." I sang with the tune. I stopped and let my hand rest on the B note letting the sound continue as I stopped thinking. I sighed and got back up again. I laid my head down and let myself rest. But it wasn't long before I felt a tap on my shoulder to see Dwight standing there.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly.

"Negan wants you." He said with no response to my attitude toward him. What could he want now? I thought to myself. I sighed and got up and had reminded myself that I was going to play by his rules for Daryl.

"After you," I sighed. Dwight did nothing but nod his head and start walking out the door. I followed behind him down halls till we came to another red door. Dwight knocked.

"Open." I heard Negan call out on the other side. Do what he says. Follow his rules. I repeated to myself. Dwight opened the door and held it open for me. He nodded to Negan and closed it once I was inside. I could feel my hands shaking as I looked at Negan who sat coolly in a leather chair. Out of all the rooms, I had seen so far his was the best. But that was to be expected. I tried to keep my focus off of Negan as he stared at me. It gave me time to look at the room which was lavished with real furniture. His bed was made and had a maroon comforter and had matching pillows. His bed also had a headboard and footboard in mahogany-like wood. I couldn't tell because the room was lit with only a few lamps.

I couldn't control my gaze any longer as I looked at him. He was still there smiling at me. I could feel chills run up my back at his stare.

"What?" I asked putting my hands in my pockets.

"You like it?" He flicked his hands up in reference to the room. I nodded slowly and took a quick look around again but this time setting my eyes on the TV it was a big flat-screen TV unlike the one in mine I couldn't help my eyes go wide in surprise. "It's my beast, or should I say my second beast." I looked at him and raised his eyebrows. "I meant my penis." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah," I said walking toward the bookshelf. "I got that." I said. I looked at all the books. "Do you actually read these?" I said picking out a random book. I opened the cover and I saw it was Moby Dick.

"Surprised?" He said I could hear him get up and walk closer to me.

"A little," I said. I was actually really surprised. "You don't act like the reading type," I said putting Moby Dick back and ran my fingers across the spines of the others.

"Just because I'm a jackass doesn't mean I can't fucking read." I could feel him standing right behind me. His arm reached out beside me and grabbed an unmarked book on the shelf. "This one is actually my favorite." He handed it down to me before leaning against the bookcase. I felt the smooth cover of the book before opening it. I read the title. Dracula my eyes opened in surprise.

"Dracula, really?" He chuckled softly and put his hands up defensively.

"Don't ask because I couldn't tell you." I smiled and handed the book back to him. He looked down at it and smiled. "Have you read it?" I shook my head.

"Guess watching the movie doesn't count." He smiled and nodded his head.

"Here." He handed the book back to me. "I think you should read it." I slowly took the book from his hands.

"Okay," I whispered. He sighed and started to walk away. I held the book to my chest with both hands. I was conflicted on how easy he was making it for me to follow what he told me to do. I caught myself staring at the book Jane Eyre. I grabbed it and turned to him but he was at his sink getting a glass of water. "Do you mind if I take this one too?"

"Take whatever you want." He said without turning to me. I took the books and put them on the table by the door. I returned my hands to my pockets as I stood there by the door unsure what I was supposed to be doing. Negan turned around and had two glasses in his hand and he handed one to me.

"Thank you." I sipped at it as he walked back to the chair he was sitting at originally. Why was I here? What was the trick? He sat down and took a look at me still standing and laughed.

"Are you going to sit?" He asked. I looked at him and the leather chair adjacent to his. I didn't say anything but sat down in the chair. It was the most comfortable thing I had sat on in what seemed like weeks. I placed the water on the side table between us and sat on my hands uncomfortable with the silence. He didn't look that comfortable either. We glanced at each other in silence. "Well, this is fucking stupid." He said laughing and covering his face. Was he embarrassed? I brushed that thought away.

"What were you before all this?" I asked breaking the silence. He sighed and looked at his shoes.

"A car salesman and a coach." If I had been drinking the water I'm sure I would have spit I out. He must have seen my surprise about him being a coach. "I wasn't a good one either. I was in the process of getting fired." If I could believe in anything that he was saying I could believe that.

"Why?" I asked genuinely interested in how bad it was. He sighed.

"I cussed out a kid when I was playing him in a game of ping pong." He smiled at me. "He sucked. Most of them did." He patted his leg and looked away.

"So," I said feeling sorry for the kid. "you're supposed to help them get better not fucking yell at them." I was suddenly heated. He looked at me surprised at my reaction.

"You don't think I fucking know that?" He said seriously. I suddenly felt like I should have said that. Suddenly he started to laugh leaving me confused.

"What?" I asked. But he could barely make out any words between his laughing fits.

"Someone said the same thing to me before." He said looking down at the ground with a smile. He looked off like that for a little while like he was thinking back on a memory. Sitting here with him was too confusing. It was like he was a totally different person than the man I came to hate. He looked at me and seemed to come back to the present. "Well shit," He said as he had just realized something. "I think you should go." I looked at him confused. He wasn't like he was just then. It was like he had his wall come down for just a second. Just long enough for me to catch at a peek at the man he really was. I think that was the first time I actually saw a human sitting across from me, not a monster. I could feel my hands shaking at humanizing him. He was no longer the monster that killed two of my family members. He was a human being trying to make it like everyone else. He had a family, a past, and hardships that I didn't know. That made him scarier to me.