I Need To Change

Chapter 76

"Alright Dani, come out the booth."Walter said as he cut off the music in the studio. I took the headphones off my head, stepping out the booth with a bit of relief.

Here we were slowly kicking back into work. After months of being out of work and just taking in the success we had received, we were getting back into grind mode. We had began working on new music and starting other business ventures. I wasn't mad at this at all because I needed to get back to work. I needed to get back on the grind cause I knew that would help me.

Our new music was definitely going to be one for the books. I was opening up about so much and wearing my heart on my sleeve. For months and months I fought on if I was going to put what I was going through in my music or not. At first I felt it was best to just let what happened be. To not speak on all the heartbreaks I suffered and to not speak on how I was really feeling. But after a few days of being in the studio and sitting on my emotions, I decided I should. I decided I should express myself through the best way I know how. Music. I was ready to began telling my story through music and I knew that would help me so much in the end.

I took a seat on the sofa in the studio as Shi made her way into the booth to lay down a few vocals. I could hear my phone ring, making me immediately grab it from the table. I seen it was a text from Jake and that made me immediately smile. I didn't hesitate to click on our messages, messaging him back.

It had been some weeks since Jake and I confessed our love for each other and honestly things didn't seem any different. It was honestly like nothing had even changed between us. The only thing that became different is we would share a kiss here and there and be up under each other like there wasn't no more space left in the world. Everything just felt so natural though. Like I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. I didn't feel forced. I didn't feel any type of way and I loved that.

We both just made it clear though that we were not going to rush it. We were not going to dive head first into a relationship because we knew how crazy things could go and how fast things could change. So we wanted to go at a steady pace with things and not move to fast. We just knew we loved each other and we both wanted one another. There was no second thought about that.

I couldn't help to feel a bit wrong though. With no doubt in my mind I loved this man. I loved him with everything in me and without a doubt in my mind I knew he was meant for me. But I was still somehow stuck on Chres. I know, I know you're wondering how in the hell is that still possible. It's been months and months and you somehow is still stuck on that boy!? Truth is, yes, yes I was and I didn't know what to do about that.

Yes, Chres and I were no longer around each other. We barely seen each other and there wasn't any communication going on between us. But because we were no longer communicating didn't mean my feelings and love for him just disappeared. It didn't just vanish. Even after days, weeks and months, my love was still there for him and it was still strong. I just wasn't prepared to let Chres go. I know it was messed up for me to get tied in with Jake when I knew I wasn't completely over Chres yet, but I couldn't help it. I loved Jake with every feeling in my soul and I wanted to be with him, but I for some reason still had feelings for Chres which is sad. Here I had a man ready and willing to give me everything without second thought, but I was still stuck on a man who lead me blind. Who deceived me, having me thinking he was this man he wasn't. Having me put my very last in him only for him to throw it all back in my face.