D.O.'s Journal-22

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ok I apologize for the late update... .I guess you can say I am grounded and my phone has been taken away. I also have no access to any computer, tv, or cellular device at all... So luckily I was able to do it today... Some parts may seem rushed... I don't have enough time.. So sorry. 

Anyways!! Thanks for all the views on the story!! Close to a thousand!!

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Kyungsoo's POV~

My boss has been asking me to do a lot of things lately. I can't believe he is able to hide his identity and change his name! Like where the fuck does he get these stuff. How did he get a hold of a fake ID, driver licenses, fake school certificates? WTF!!

And yesterday he told me told me to kill Chen! Chen didn't even do shit!! I wish I didn't have to work for him. If I quit now, he will kill me. But I don't want to fucking kill someone to save myself. I need to find away to get away from him.

But on the other hand. Last night, I was able to have sex. It has been a very, very long time. The guy seemed kinda old and shit, but I never felt so alive in months. I enjoyed last night. Last night was so nice.

The brusies are fresh. The hickeys are still perfectly clear on my thighs and neck.

I don't need Chanyeol anymore.

But I want Chan-

"Yah! D.O.!" A familiar voice had cut me off.

I raise my face slightly up and someone I never thought I'd see again.

"Chanyeol Sunbae!" When I looked at Chanyeol I wanted to cry, "Uh.. hey.."

He smirks and points to my neck.

"What is that? Did you replace me?" Chanyeol says leaning close to my ear.

I look away from the giant and stared at the bathroom stall. There I am sitting on the unclean bathroom floor while my ex boyfriend is asking if I got over him.

I never got over Chanyeol.

"Let me ask you one more time, did you replace me." He says pulling the collar of uniform.

"N-N-No!" I say loudly that I scared myself.

He chuckles softly and looks away then looks back into my face.

I sat in terror to see my ex-boyfriend's face so close to my face.

"Then what is that hickey on your neck." He asks sounding concern about me.

When was Chanyeol ever concern about me? I think to myself.

"I was raped." I lied. 

"By who?" He said sounding like he was boyfriend again. 

I closed my book and looked away from the black haired boy's face.

"It doesn't matter if I was raped or not. You don't need to know. I don't even think you care about me. You never cared about me. Never ever. You just let me go.. Y-Y-You just broke up with me. You don't even care about me. No one cares about me. My parents don't even care, my friends don't care about me, and not even my love knows about my existences! So it doesn't matter. It never really mattered." I cried as hot water dripped down my face. 

Chanyeol backed away from me and gave me a sad look. 

"What if I do care?" He asks looking down at the floor. "What if I still love you?"

I chuckled and wiped my tears away. 

I couldn't believe what he was saying! He stills love me? He can just go suck a fucking dick! Cause I know if he really did love me, he would have stayed with me. 

"Chanyeol, you don't love." I said.

I walked across the restroom tiles and made my way to the exit. 

If Chanyeol really loved me, he would have grabbed my hand or something like in the movies. But I am 100% sure he won't do that. I think to myself. Shit I need to finish my journal entry today. 

"Stop." 

I didn't stop walking .

"Stop." 

I ignored the call even though I really wanted to run to his arms and hug him.

 "I said STOP!" 

I suddenly freeze. 

Why the hell did I freeze? I think to myself. 

Then a flashback happened: 

Chanyeol and I had gotten into an argument because I caught him cheating on me.

The way he looked into my dark eyes and lied to me, was very mournful. I hate it. He caress my chin and kissed me. 

"Kyungsoo, you know you still love me." He says cutting the kiss," It has been your punishment for all the bad things in life you did. Your punishment which you will never be able to let me go no matter how hard it is. You will see me fall in love with other people only to want even more badly. It is your curse."

"Oppa.." I cried making my tears fall down to my chin. 

"Stop crying, your crying won't do you any good. I hate it when you fucking cry. I fucking hate it! You like shit when you cry. Just stop" 

He pushes me away, and walks away. 

"You are to unworthy. I don't want you. I don't need you. You know I never cared about you. Leave. You are unwelcome to my home." 

 End of Flashback.

I feel a large and cold hand pull me backwards. 

His soft plump lips press against mine. We synchronized like we did before. Each move communicating with each other. 

I missed his touch

But why? Why did I miss him. He didn't need me. He doesn't care about me. 

I pushed his body away from mine, like he pushed me away from him. 

Although his love is my curse, I need to fight it.  I ran away from Chanyeol holding my journal like it was just as important as my life. 

Chanyeol....


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