Him ✓ ➢ c.s

09- Gone.

Nova Dillon

We walked around the fair for a while, holding hands and talking about each other days. We were attempting to avoid our school mates, because they where so fucking annoying. And simply didn't like both of us. Everyone gave us weird looks as we walked, judging Cole in every way possible. He pulled out a cigarette, and started to smoke. Causing me to cough.

"Cole, why?" I covered my nose and mouth, and gave him a weird look, "I thought you said you stopped.

"I'm sorry, I needed too," He panicked, "It's not as easy as you think it is Nova, but like I said. I'm still working towards it."

"If you're going to smoke, let me smoke. I want to see what it's like," I couldn't believe what I was saying. The words kind of just- came out. I guess I just wanted to know what it was like to be in Cole's shoes. Although it would never be the same.

"No, you're too beautiful to die," He shook his head, "I can't let that happen to you. I care too much for you to let you attempt this disease stick."

"Let me just try once, it's okay," I held his arm tighter, and gave him a tempting stare, "It's not going to kill me. I swear to god."

He examined me for a moment, intently, "What the hell. I'm going to let you smoke, but remember when you denied the cigarette last time?" He sighed and decided to hand me his cigarette, "This is a bad idea. But never smoke again after this."

I put the cigarette between my lips, and inhaled slowly. His teeth started to grind, and he widened his eyes. Caring too much about me which I thought was cute.

"What the fuck Nova! Don't let him do this too you!" Diana almost screamed and she spotted us, and started running towards us.

I exhaled the smoke and started to cough, while she nearly tackled Cole to the ground, "What are you doing Diana?" I shouted, and tried prying her off of him.

"He's ruining you Nova," She whined, "I can't let him do this to you."

"He tried to stop me, and I'm never going to do it again so it doesn't matter," I exclaimed, "It's disgusting. Sorry Cole, I don't know how you do it."

We all gave each other awkward stares for a moment, until Diana finally gave up on attacking Cole, and instead just gave him a nasty glare.

"I didn't mean any harm. I can't control what my girlfriend does," Cole laughed at Diana, who was clearly making a big deal out of nothing.

"She isn't your girlfriend, I don't think you realize that," She started backing away slowly, "Sooner or later you'll realize how badly you're hurting this poor soul."

We didn't respond. But Cole seemed sad by her comment and gulped hard.

"I'm sorry about her," I shook my head, "I don't get why everyone hates you."

"Why wouldn't they hate me?" He laughed sarcastically, but meaningfully, "She doesn't trust me with you, and I don't blame her."

"Would you stop? It's not funny."

"I'm not trying to make anything funny. I'm just realizing things that I shouldn't have done," He wouldn't look me in the eye, and only made a frustrated scowl, "I'm addicted."

"I know you are, but I can help you- remember?" I grabbed his shoulder and tried comforting him but he backed away forcefully.

"No! You can't help me with that. I'm not only addicted to drugs; I'm addicted to you and I shouldn't be," He grabbed my arm tightly, "The drug thing. I haven't done it like I told you. But you are the issue."

I didn't believe a word coming out of his moth, "You shouldn't have fell in love with me," He glared, "Because now. Doing this is even harder."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I yelled, feeling helpless.

"I'm sorry Nova, but I have to leave for a while," He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I could tell how hard he was fighting his tears, "I love you."

"No you can't leave," I held onto him tightly and pleaded, "We where doing just fine, why did Diana have to come and ruin everything?"

"She's not the reason, I'm just not the right person for you. You deserve someone much better," He glided his finger softly against my cheek, "I've been trying to tell you this—but it's been hard for me. I have to go somewhere, and I'll be back."

"Does this mean you're breaking up with me?" I rose my voice, "You're such an asshole."

"No! Fuck no! I'm not like that!" He shouted, "I will come back for you Nova Dillon, one way or another."

"God Co-"

"Look at me!" He demanded, "I just need to get cleaned up so I can give you what you need."

That's when I lost my cool. I wasn't processing any of this, and all I wanted to do was cry in his arms, "Please don't leave me, not like my dad. You're better than him."

"Don't you ever compare me to your dad! I'm not your dad!" He took my comment to heart and pointed at me, "I'm a way better person."

"Then why are you leaving me? Minutes ago you told me how hard it was leaving me, and now you're actually leaving?" My voice cracked, "Oh god I can't believe this is happening. You're such a dick."

"First off, I didn't leave you earlier," He exclaimed, "I just never go to school as I have said multiple times. And it's hard leaving you! But I need to."

"I don't care! That's not the point, you can't leave me Cole!" Everyone around us was watching us yell at each other, and I was in tears, "Don't do this."

"I love you," He kissed me solemnly, but I shoved him away, "All you have to do is live a normal life, and stay strong like you have before."

"Was a relationship too hard for you to handle?"

"I don't know Nova. I thought about our relationship a lot today, and I don't really know what I'm doing," he panicked, "I want to make you happy."

  "So you're leaving me, you don't make fucking sense Cole. You never do," I start to walk away but he pulls me back towards him.

"You don't understand Nova. I can't do this right now with you, when I get back in town we will resume what we had," he gulped, "I don't like rushing into things after what happened with Evinor."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," I slapped him, "I can't believe you're leaving me like this."

"Goodbye Nova," I tried pulling him back to me, but he ran away. For some reason I didn't follow him. I was far too weak, and just watched him run away carelessly. Not looking back once. I couldn't move. Think. Or even breathe.

He was going back to that drug hole of his, ruining himself- but still thinking of me as I thought of him always. This love thing was getting to my head. I spent too much time worrying about him, than taking care of myself. And I think that's my biggest issue.

But I will be back for him. If he tries to hide, I will find him. Because that's what soul mates do.