Just Writing Randomness

What Would Happen If...? (#1)

  Gollum was sitting on his favorite rock in his favorite cave in his favorite mountain. He was busy eating delicious fishes. "Smeagol? Be careful with the precious!"

  "Oh yes, we loves it very much, yes, very much."

  Gollum tossed the skeleton of the fish into the water when a loud commotion reverberated through the cave walls. Before long an orange streak flew into the dark cave, "Aghh! GOLLUM, GOLLUM!"

  The orange streak went straight at Gollum and stuck on his finger. It turned out to be an orange ring.

  "What is itssss?"

An hour later...

  Bilbo Baggins was wandering through the mountain in search of his friends. Before long he stumbled down a slope into a cave of sorts. There he heard a wailing of a smallish creature. "Preeeeeciousssssss!"

  Bilbo wasn't sure whether the creature needed help or not, so being the good-natured hobbit that he was, he followed the sound.

  "We lost it! It's mine! Mine mine mine!"

  Bilbo was beginning to become frightened by the odd creature. "Bless us and splash us, my precious. A hobbit has come to visit. Perhaps it has the precious."

  "Oh, yeesss. If it does we'll take it, take it and keep it, and eat its meat."

  "Shut up! It hears us," Gollum reprimanded himself. "Gollum, gollum."

  "But we likes to talk."

  "Excuse me. I heard you lost something?" Bilbo finally spoke. "What is it?"

  "Oh, it asks us a riddle. But its riddle is stupid, we know what was lost, we lost it!" Gollum began to cry in his creepy way.

  "Look, don't cry, do you want to play a game? Of riddles?" The Baggins asked, catching Gollum's obvious excitement at the prospect of a riddle.

  "Yes, yes, gollum. I will play with you."

  "Shut up, I'm playing."

  "Fine, we'll both play, my precious."

  "Let's make the game interesting by not playing for nothing. We should bet on something," Bilbo decided.

  "If I win, no, if we win, yes, we gets to keep my Birthday Present. And if you win, gollum, we will give you the Birthday Present," Gollum stated mischievously.

  Bilbo thought for a moment, "One more thing, if I win, you show me the way out. Also my name is Bilbo Bagginss

  "Fine, fine, fine. Let's play, I'll go first, my precious.
What has roots as nobody sees,
Is taller than trees Up, up, up it goes,
And yet never grows?"

  "Hah! That one is simple, a mountain."

  "Whaaaat?" Gollum screamed, "the Baggins is intelligent. Eat it now, eat it now!"

  "You don't really want to do that, if you eat me the game will never be finished," Bilbo carefully negotiated. With every moment Gollum seemed more and more terrifying. "It's my turn now:
Thirty white horses on a red hill,
First they champ,
Then they stamp,
Then they stand still." Bilbo chuckled, thinking Gollum would never guess it.

  "Gollum, gollum. Teeth, they mash fishes well. My precious, shall we stump it? Oh yes, yes of course:
It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt.
It lies behind stars and under hills,
And empty holes it fills.
It comes first and follows after,
Ends life, kills laughter."

  Bilbo thought long and hard. When he finally got the answer Gollum had been lingering over him, ready to pounce. "Dark. It's dark, isn't it?" It was really more of a rhetorical question.

  "Gah, gollum gollum."

  Bilbo thought of a new question, one to surely stump the odd creature. "What is in my pocket?"

  Gollum immediately recoiled, "Not fair! It cheats, my precious. It cheats!" Gollum was getting extremely aggravated and had a sudden desire of greed for whatever was in the pocket. "Stupid Bagginses and his pocketses. Urmm, urmm. Precious help us!"

  "I win. You'll never guess what it is!"

  "No, I'll tear it to shreds, mash, crush, chew!" Suddenly the orange ring flared to life on Gollum's left flap of a hand. He imagined the orcs and goblins he had killed and generated orange hard-light versions of them.

  Bilbo let out a scream. He scrambled back the way he came, but a bright orange fish latched onto his leg. "Not so fast my precious," Gollum says with an evil grin and avarice in his eyes. "My PRECIOUS WILL BE MINE! Final riddle, yes?

What's mine is mine and mine and mine.

And mine and mine and mine!

Not yours!

Precious is funny. The answer is MY PRECIOUS!"

  Now Bilbo was frightened to his core and now the reader may be afraid that all is over, that Bilbo dies and the ring is never brought to the Cracks of Doom by Frodo. You would be right, but whenever something is granted one side of the conflict, something must be granted the other.

Enter: Tom Bombadil (wearing a Blue Corps ring)

  "Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow, Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow. None have ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master: His songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster." Tom flew in, enveloped in a light blue aura of light.
"In fearful day, in raging night,
With strong hearts full, our souls ignite,
When all seems lost in the War of Light,
Look to the stars-- For hope burns bright!
That is Tom Bombadil's oath!"

  Avarice and hope are polar opposites in both the universe of detective comics (DC) and our world. The rings automatically conflict. Gollum's constructs forget Bilbo, allowing him to escape and make up a tale of riddles in the dark (when actually, the light was overwhelming).