Skin

Chapter 15

Alone I sat at the table, staring at ten red leather book almost afraid to read what was in it. That everything I had gone through was just like what Gwendolyn went through. If she too pushed Goliath away. Rubbing my face with both hands and slowly pulling away as my hands came together. I felt like crying because it hurt so much. Everything is so confusing and I couldn't do this. With the short time I have been here, I have quickly fallen in love. Love? I admit it I fell... in love. I felt a lump in my throat. I fell in love like a teenager and now I'm trapped.

"Barbara?"

"Yes," replying quickly, slamming both hands on the table as I stood up.

Anne stood by the door way with her hands together and a gentle smile. "I cleaned and drew a hot bath. Would you like to take a bath?"

"I'm sorry for the trouble."

"Please it's alright," she laughed. Her gentle laugh slowly died as her eyes drifted towards the book. "You have been staring at that book for hours, are you alright?"

For a moment I was shocked, and glanced towards the book and then back to her. "I didn't notice," I said admittingly.

"Time flies when we are in deep thought," she said, "I hope you don't mind, I checked on your husband to make sure his leg was healing alright."

"Thank you," I smiled nodding my head as I took my book in hand and was ready to head to the bathroom.

Walking pass Anne she spoke, "Barbara?"

"Yes?" I stop in my tacks.

She paused for a moment as if she was unsure if she would say anything. She was lost in her thoughts but quickly shook her head and said, "I have some clothes that you may fit into. So please leave you dirty clothes outside in the hallway and I'll clean them." Slowly nodding my head, I knew it was not what she wanted to say.

Slowly nodding my head. I turned away and had gone to the bathroom. Once in the room, I placed my book onto a lid of a basket next to the tub. Without thinking about anything else, all I wanted was to have this nice bath. I really need to find a way to thank Anne for all she has done for us.

Slipping out of my dress I slightly opened the door and place the dress down in the hallway. Softy I closed the door and walked towards the bath. Placing my tippy toe in the water, it was warm to the touch as I put the rest of my foot into the tub. With my body in the tub, I sat wrapping my arms around my legs. Hugging myself.

Staring into the water I found my self at a daze remembering mom sneaking her fingers into my bag to grab one of my books. I can just see the two of us fight about it then laughing. I myself laughing out loud as Logan walks into the picture with a container with food that he made for her. He was always a good cook.

With a smile I shook my head but the smile didn't last as the smallest movement in the water made the vision disappears. And then there, I say dad. Staring at me, smiling. How long has it been? Since I saw that face, that smile. My vision started to become a blur as the tears formed in my eyes. Reaching out, I trying not to cry as I touched his cheek. My shaking jaw fell as I watched him disappear just like how mom and Logan did.

"Barbara?" Anne called from the other side of the door.

Straighten myself out I whipped the tears away, I called out, "Yes, Anne" hoping my voice didn't crack.

"Your clean clothes are in front of the door," she replied.

"Thank you," I said. I waited a moment, waiting for her to move away from the door. She stood there for some time until she finally moved down the hallway.

I felt relieved somehow when she left. Leaning on into the tub, I rested my head on the edge while I stretched out my body to its full length.

I have to pull myself together. I have to get home, that's the goal. Not this fantasy. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real...

Bathed and clothed in one of Anne's light blue nightgown, I walked into the room Goliath and I had to share. Lying on his side with his bad leg on top of his good leg the blanket was tangled around him. With a smile I shook my head wondering how I was going to get him untangled so I can sleep on the bed too with some blanket. The night was cold and there was no way I was going to sleep on the floor.

Slowly creeping towards the bed, I tried to untangle the blanket around his legs. Once I successfully got it untangled, I gentle placed the blanket on top of him.

I felt like laughing at his childlike face. I wonder what he's dreaming about, I thought when I saw a small smile appear and disappear before my eyes.

Taking my attention to the window, walked over to it and closed the curtains. Turning around I walked over to the candles on the dresser that brought light to the room and then gentle took myself to the bed trying not to wake him up. Lying on my side I stared at his back, watching his every back muscles move as he breathed.

Early I didn't realize how long I was staring at the book for night had slowly crept up me and by the time I got out of the bath, dinner was made and Goliath missed his because he had just fell asleep.

Picking my hand up I gentle placed my fingertip onto a scar on his back. He had many scars but my finger touched the biggest one on his back. His body was hot and warm compared to my body that felt ice cold. Unexpectedly he turned around, still asleep, and wrapped his arms around me. At first thought, I wanted to push him away and find somewhere else to sleep but I couldn't move.

So warm. Curling into a ball, I gentle rubbed my head on his hot chest like a child.

If only this was real.