S.U. 49 Memories

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CHAPTER 49

ZACHARY ART'S POV

"Oh shit! Why did I do that?" I asked myself while carrying this heavy shit feeling of guiltiness!  I felt the thickness beneath my throat and my tight chest controlling my breathing. I walked around as my impetuous action last night keep on replaying around my head.

Why?  I felt my hands and knees shaking uncontrollably. Naalala ko ang pagtaboy ko kay Babe kagabi, maging ang pagsigaw ko sa kanya na punong-puno ng galit. Why did I do that to her?

I shook my head.  I remembered her overflowing tears were scattered in every single part of this unit and saw the deepest fear in her damped eyes. She was terrified on what she saw in my impulsive actions, she's scared with me. I was so stupid that I can't do anything to control myself!

Sa pinakaimportanteng tao ko pa nagawa at pinaramdam ang bagay na iyon! Nice one Zach, nice one! So now, what did I got for being such a coward jerk? Nothing... I messed-up the feelings of my other half, big time!

I know she's still hurting now, why did I let her cry? I'm really such a piece of shit! I faced the window while holding back my tears begging to let them fall, again and again. The atmosphere outside is quite calm that made me think to relax for a second, but hell no! My heartbeat is continuously racing in a long rough road.

Napatingin ako sa aking relo, it's already 11:00am. I'm still waiting near in front of her door and sincerely want to apologize on what I did.

Hindi pa rin lumalabas ng kuwarto si Babe. Nakaluto na ako ng breakfast naming dalawa. Her favorite lasagna and apple pie were perfectly created a while ago with love and regret. Hindi ko na ata mabilang kung ilang beses akong pabalik-balik kalalakad sa labas ng pinto ng kuwarto niya. Nahihiya akong kumatok, hindi ko kayang pumasok.

I know she's mad, bakit ko ba naman kasi siya sinigawan! Naiinis ako sa sarili ko! Ang galit na nararamdaman ko, nabuntong ko sa kanya kagabi! This is not me! If my past will ruin our relationship, I will not think twice, we need to leave this country not knowing my dark history! I am so unreasonable to let this happened!

I scrubbed my hands over my face. Did I lose her? What a shame on me! Kailangan ko na talaga siyang makausap.

Humarap ako sa pintuan ng kuwarto niya. Kumatok muna ako at inilapit ang tainga sa kanyang pinto. She's still asleep. Nanginginig ang kamay ko habang dahan-dahang binubuksan ang door knob.

As I opened the door, I instantly saw her sleeping in her bed covered by her favourite white feathery blanket. I silently walked and sat beside her bed.

While I'm staring in her face, I touched her cheek gradually and smoothly. My eyelids get gummy and I felt my heart crying out load when I noticed her despondency. Her eyes are swollen and I clearly heard her struggling in breathing. Then suddenly I saw a tears coursing from her eyes that made me wanted to hug her so tight.

"Babe?" Her soft tearful voice and gasping breath greeted me with her red eyes. I felt the soreness in my throat and lungs as I turned my sight in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Babe!" I said in a flat and monotone voice. Niyakap ko siya agad. Ang sakit sa dibdib na makita at maramdamang nahihirapan siya nang dahil sa kagaguhan ko! She wrapped her balminess arms around my neck and wordlessly cries that made my heart broke into pieces.

"'Wag ka na umiyak." Humarap ako at hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi niya. I cannot control anymore my sadness and aching core. "I was a stupid jerk last night. I know you're angry at me right now, but please don't leave me." My vision gets blurry while looking in her puffy eyes.

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