Let The Sky Fall (Synyster Gates Series: Book 3)

The Fear That Can't Be Faced

Brian's POV

On a dark and somber day like the day of Carla's wake, Sophia still managed to bring a smile onto everyone's faces. It's true what people say: Your child is the light that leads you through the darkness. 

And it was pretty dark.

Jackie, Randy and Mr. Baker were quiet for the most part of the day and kept to themselves. I knew it's space they wanted and it's what they deserved. Of course, I felt sad myself, but I didn't want Jackie to worry about Sophia while she prepared herself for the wake, so I took over baby-duty and spent the day with Sophia. 

I hadn't realized how much she was growing up. She was already learning to walk and was perfecting the art of climbing over things such as the coffee table or even the couch. I knew she was going to be a handful once she learned to walk and run by herself. She went from eating bland foods to eating Coco-Puffs. She was beginning to despise Cheerios and it made me laugh because Jimmy wasn't a big fan of Cheerios either. Speaking of Jimmy, Sophia really enjoyed banging the shit out of anything near her-- From a face to a hard surface, even Pinkly. I had a strong feeling she was going to grow up and ask me to buy her a drum kit. With out a doubt, I would. Anything for my baby. 

"Alright, let's do this. I'm pretty hungry and I don't want to sound rude but I'm looking forward to Olive Garden after mom's wake." Randy said, prancing down the stairs. Sophia, who was standing on my lap, smiled at her uncle and screamed at the top of her lungs, gaining his attention. "Well, well look who's dressed up looking all pretty for the evening?" 

I sighed, standing up, "Well thank you Randall, but really I think Sophia deserves the compliments, not me." 

He laughed taking Sophia out of my arms, "Brian, Brian, Brian. I was talking about this little precious angel of music in my arms." He laid a kiss on Sophia's head. "Right, baby? You're just too damn cute. You're gonna be a real neck breaker with those hazel green eyes." 

"And I'm sure that the only necks that will be broken are the ones Brian breaks after these boys get a look at Sophia." Mark chimed in, slipping into his jacket. 

I nodded, "Right." 

"Okay, let's go. I'm ready." 

I turned my attention to the stairs, where Jackie stood in a black dress that managed to accentuate her waist. I knew it wasn't the time to think it, but I wanted her out of that dress and into my arms as soon as possible. I couldn't take my eyes off her and her beauty... Then again, I've never been able to ever since she became mine .

"If we had to choose a winner for drool-er of the year, Sophia would lose to Brian." Randy said, pulling me out of my daze. My cheeks began to warm up with embarrassment. I wasn't aware of how intense I was staring at Jacks. 

I closed my mouth and grabbed the keys off the coffee table. "Sorry. Just- Yeah. Sorry. C'mon let's go." 

I've never been ashamed of staring at Jackie's body, but being caught infront of her father was something to be extremely embarrassed about. I didn't want her dad to think I disrespect her in any way.

We all filed out of the house and headed down to the mortuary where the services were going to be held. Once we parked behind the building, I sat in the car in complete silence as Jackie, Mark and Randy got out. 

So many things were running through my head like, I remember when I was here for Jimmy and can I go in there again and face death? 

My stomach churned, making me feel slightly nauseated. I covered my mouth and swallowed hard, hoping this gagging feeling would vanish. But it wouldn't and it bothered me. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to the steering wheel, counting backwards from ten as I breathed in and out.