Whatever It Takes

Chapter- Thirty-eight

I continually filled up card-board boxes of Oliver's things he was taking to college. Every now and then I let a tear slip. College is going to be different with him not around all the time.

"Promise me something?" Oliver asked as he stretched the duct-tape over the box,tightening it over the openings. I watched as his finger slid on it, taking out any air pockets.

"Yeah?" I asked not knowing what I was getting myself into.

"Promise me we won't drift apart while we are both away from college." He told me. I hated thinking about this.

"I promise, do you promise?" I asked as I placed his lamp into the box.

"I promise." He said with a quiet voice. I've been dreading college because of this one reason. Every night I have been going to bed and having dreams of us losing connection. I don't want that, and I don't want us to be that. I guess only time will tell.

After an endless amount of hours helping him pack, I made my way home while hoping for a good night sleep. I quickly got washed up and changed, wanting sleep to take over my body. As I laid down in bed, I felt like something was wrong. I had this gut feeling, it pained me to pay attention to it. I lay on my back now, my hands were entangled in my messy hair. Tears pricked my eyes as some were trailing down my face and neck.

I had that urge that I couldn't do this. I felt like with him leaving for college, a piece of me was leaving too. I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes and getting rid of the tears. I watched in horror as I watched my old self paced the room while I was still sitting in bed. I listened to her speaking.

"I can't do this. I shouldn't be here. No one understands." I heard her saying. I realized how negative I was in the past, only because of being raped. I wished every night I would somehow just wither away into nothing but air.

"Don't be who you were. Be strong, you'll get through this." She told me as she stopped in front of my bed.

"You have everything you want. Live in the now, not in the past. Leave me behind," She told me and then vanished.

It was that moment in my life when I actually understood what I was saying for once. College is a new start, a time to start fresh and be someone who I want to be. My dreams can become reality and if I want that to happen, I have to believe in myself.

I placed my pencil down to check my work. The basic courses were well, pretty basic. I was completing the work in a click. In the courses that actually pertained to my career, were not difficult, just a lot of work. I was glad that my second week here is almost over. I just have to finish up this class and I'm free. Oliver had texted me earlier that we could talk later, and I was most definitely looking forward to that. Maybe this time we will actually talk. He's been caught up with his new football friends, while I've been with the soccer team boys. Shocker there that I'm actually socializing. Which reminds me, they have a game tonight. I was thinking about going but I wanted to see if Oliver wanted to possibly come.

I headed back to the dorm room after class was over. I felt pumped and full of energy, I couldn't wait to talk to him. I dropped my bag on the desk chair and plopped onto my bed. I put the phone to my ear, listening to the rings.

Ring, ring, ring, Hi you've reached-" I clicked the end call button and sighed. I dropped my phone onto my bed and pulled out my book. I felt really bummed about him not answering, but nothing reading can't fix.

I was just hitting a good part in my book when I heard my phone go off. I instantly answered.

"Hey!" I exclaimed cheerfully.