The Loser in the End--The Sequel

A Seed of Doubt

Life went on with you and Brian without further incidents.  You had talked it over, and he had convinced you to just live in his place instead of getting a separate one.  It made more sense, he explained.

You had come to the realize you walked on eggshells when you were around him. You had developed a habit of doing whatever it took to avoid upsetting him, and this realization was discomforting. What had you become? You reasoned that life was just easier for you if you didn't upset him, but still, it just didn't quite sit right. You had never been like this with anyone before.

One evening, Brian came home and announced the band would be attending a benefit dinner party for their record label that Saturday night.

"Of course, you must join me,"  he said.

You hesitated. The thought of being in the same room with Freddie was disconcerting to say the least.  You weren't sure you would be able to hide your feelings.

"Ok..." you said. "Are you sure?"  You didn't want to create any tension.

"Of course I'm sure," he said. "Everyone else will be bringing a date, and you're my girlfriend after all."

Shit. That meant Freddie would most likely be there with that bitch Ava. Your stomach was churning already.

"Here," Brian said, handing you his credit card, "Take my card and go shopping tomorrow."

"I'm sure I already have something to wear, Brian," you said. "You've already bought me a ton of clothes."

"I know," he said. "But it's a black tie affair, and you might want something new."

"Ok, thank you, Brian," you said, "That's very generous of you."

"Nothing's too much for you, my love," he said, putting his arms around you. "Just make sure it's classy and not too sexy, ok?"

You hated the fact he was implying you would naturally choose something too sexy if left on your own. It's like he didn't even trust you to buy an appropriate outfit.

As you left the apartment the next afternoon, Andy was walking out his door as well.

"Oh," he said awkwardly, "Uh, I was just wondering if you guys want this VCR. I just got a new one. I'm only asking because Brian borrowed this one a little while back."

"He did?" you asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, he said he wanted to show some tape to Freddie."

"I see..." you said, trying to sound cool.

But inside, your mind was reeling. Your mind drifted back to that night at Perversion when Freddie had told you that ridiculous story about Brian and a sex tape. Freddie had insisted Brian had a VCR. Now Andy was telling you Brian had borrowed his one night...

"Hellooo," Andy said, waiving his hand in front of your face. "Do you want it or not?"

"Uh, sure, ok..." you said, returning your attention to him.

You took the VCR and put it back inside your apartment. Then you went to some shops, trying on at least ten dresses before finally settling on one. It wasn't the one you really wanted, but it was one Brian would approve of. You didn't even bother looking at the price tag. Brian couldn't care less how much you spent, and you appreciated his generosity. Now if only he was less uptight about other things...

After having spent the day with a hung-over Freddie, Brian came home in a foul mood, and he frowned when he saw the VCR sitting on the table.

"What the fuck is this?"

"Andy asked if you wanted it..." you started.

"Why would I want it?" Brian interrupted.

"Well, he said you borrowed it one time, so he thought you might want it..." 

 Brian's anger always made you uneasy.  

"Why is he even talking to you?" Brian said, his eyes shifting about nervously.  "I don't want this piece of shit.  Get it out of here."

"Did you borrow it from him?" you asked.

"No, of course not," Brian lied.  "Why would I do that?"

"He said you wanted to show Freddie something."

"Oh, right..." Brian said, suddenly changing his story. "I did borrow it one night to show Freddie a Boy George tape."

This was a completely logical explanation.  Far more believable than some ludicrous story of a sex tape.

But although your logical mind accepted Brian's story,  you couldn't get rid of that seed of doubt in your gut.  You just had to brush those suspicious feelings aside, though.  Freddie was drunk and coked up most of the time.  He simply wasn't believable or rational anymore.  He wasn't the same Freddie you had known...