The Loser in the End--The Sequel

Back in New York

When you got back to New York, you found Brian's new assistant had already brought all your belongings back to Brian's apartment.  You found this to be quite unnerving--a stranger packing up all your belongings like that, but what could you do? What was done was done. Brian didn't want you to spend another night in your old apartment. You felt he was over-reacting about the whole situation, but you didn't want to argue with him.  You knew how distraught he would become.  

Brian was off at the studio, and you'd gone out to drop some things off at the cleaners.  As you got inside the apartment, the phone started ringing, and you answered it.

"Hi," a familiar voice said. "It's John. John Deacon. I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"Oh hi," you said. "How are you?"

"I'm well, thanks," he said.

There was an awkward silence between you.

"I'm sorry, but Brian isn't here right now," you told him.

"I know, I actually wanted to talk to you."

"...Me?"

"Yeah," he said. "I hope I'm not over-stepping my boundaries."

"No, no," you reassured him. "What can I do for you?"

"Well," he said hesitantly, "It's about Freddie..."

"Oh," you said flatly. "I have nothing to do with him."

"I know, I understand..." he said slowly. "It's just that...well, I don't know who else to talk to..."

"Ok..." you said, unsure of yourself. "I guess you can talk to me, then..."

"Well," he started, "I'm just worried about Freddie. He's partying every night, and he hasn't been coming into the studio. We have a deadline, you know? And it's as though he just doesn't care about anything anymore except partying."

"I'm sorry, John, but I don't know what you expect me to do about it."

"Well, I know you once cared about him a lot, and I just don't know where else to turn. The last time I saw him, he was so nervous and coked-up," John lamented. "That's just not the Freddie I know. I don't know what's happened to him. I think that girl he's with is just not good for him."

"Well," you responded. "If he wants to be with her, there's nothing I can do about it. Have you tried talking to him about it?"

You tried to sound nonchalant, but you began to bite your fingernails.  That bitch Ava was to blame, you just knew it.

"We're just not as close as we used to be..." his voice trailed off. "He seems to be going through something serious, and I get the feeling he doesn't want to talk about it. At least not to any of us..."

"I'm sorry, John, I just don't think I can help. The last time I saw him, he was behaving erratically, and I think it's best if I stay away.  I don't want to  upset Brian."

After ending the call, you spent the rest of the afternoon worrying about Freddie. Was he in over his head? Was he losing his shit?   He really wasn't behaving like his normal self.  The Freddie you knew did indeed like to party, but he was always very dedicated to his work, and he knew how to separate the two.  You knew it wasn't your problem, and it was none of your business. You had a new life with Brian, and it was pretty great so far. But even with all that, there was one thing you couldn't deny: You were still in love with Freddie, despite everything, and as much as you fought it. Could you say the same about Brian?

Sadly, the answer was no...

You knew you wanted to love Brian, and you should  love him. But the feelings just weren't there right now.  Maybe they never would be...