The Loser in the End--The Sequel

Brian's Issues

Brian watched as you left the gallery with Andy.  He'd fucked things up again with you.  He regretted  what he said, but his emotions had gotten the best of him once again.  When he saw you, he had suddenly felt like he was back in his 20's again.  It was as if no time had passed, and he was that insecure guy again who was awkward with women.  Since then, he'd become so much more confident.  Or so he thought...

He'd never been one of those guys that women naturally flocked to, like Freddie and Roger were.   Of course, being in Queen got him more action than he would have had otherwise,  but Freddie and Roger had women all over them even before that.

He was so angry with himself, but there was nothing he could do about it now.  However, the more he thought about it, the more disgruntled he became about the fact you were dating Andy Summers. He felt you really could do better than that.   And by better, he meant himself...

He still recalled that night the two of you had almost made love at his flat in London.  Before you had suddenly had a change of heart and had run off into the night, leaving him high and dry.  Before you had run back into the arms of Freddie and Roger...

Damn them, he thought.  Were it not for them, perhaps you and he would be together right now, enjoying his hard-earned success and building a life together. This was the real reason he picked so many fights with Freddie and Roger all the time...

"Fuck all of you," he said to himself as he angrily tossed back his champagne. "I'm not some short unemployed guitarist who used to be in a band, like Andy Summers.  I'm Brian May, Guitar God Extraordinaire.  I can have virtually any woman in this room."

And with that, he straightened his shoulders, and walked over to the woman in the corner who was smiling at him suggestively.

He would not be sleeping alone tonight...

As expected, Andy walked you up to your door.  He raised his chin for a goodnight kiss, and you obliged him, bending down to kiss him.  Even though he was a good kisser, it felt so awkward having to bend down.

"I hope you feel better," Andy said.

"Oh, I'm sure I will after a good night's sleep," you replied. "Thank you for a lovely evening."

"I'll call you tomorrow, ok?" he said.

You smiled feebly and nodded. "Good night."

Well fuck that, you thought.  You doubted you would be getting much sleep at all tonight.  You threw yourself down onto your bed, and soon tears of frustration began to flow.  How dare Brian speak to you that way? Just who did he think he was? He obviously still had a chip on his shoulder, even after all these years.  What a loser.

Is this how it was going to be while the band were in town?  You being afraid to go out for fear of running into one of them?  You may have made up the story of having a splitting headache to Andy, but now it was a reality.

But the real question running through your mind was, why were you allowing Brian's harsh words to affect you so?  Why should you care what he thinks?  And then you wondered:  Would he run and tell Freddie and Roger he'd seen you with yet another rock star, and spin the story to make it seem like you were  some desperate gold-digger?  

 You could still see how  Brian's expression had changed when he found out you were there with Andy.  In fact, his whole demeanor had changed...

Was it possible he was actually jealous?