Life is Difficult

65 10 4
                                    

I slowly open my eyes. I can't see anything. It's really dark in this room.

"Ah! Ghamjakkya!" I pull my hand from someone hand.

He wake up and turn on the light button beside my bed.

"Oh! You are awake dear!" Appa said in happy voice.

"Appa!" I hug Appa tightly.

My tears suddenly streaming fastly down my face. I can't open my mouth. I feel like my mouth has been locked. I just cry and cry on Appa shoulder.

"Gwenchana baby... Everything is fine now. Don't cry baby." Appa trying to persuade me.

"Appa, is Chanyeol okay? Im the cause he became like that..." Say me sadly.

"Don't say like that Aerin-ah... It's not your fault."

"Yes Aerin. It's not your fault. You didn't saw he followed you right." D.O come into my room. He agree with what Appa said earlier.

"Aniya! It's my fault... I saw him look at me! I saw him followed me! But...but I ignored him...I don't want to see him...suddenly this happend!" Im crying again. I feel like my tears aren't gonna stop at all.

Appa and D.O are shock by my words. They didn't even know that I saw Chanyeol first and ignored him untill the incident occured.

"Aerin-ah, it's okay. Im sure that Chanyeol will not blame you." Say D.O

"I want to see him. Please let me see him. I want to apologize to him. Jebal!!!" I say it louder.

"Aerin-ah...Chanyeol...Chanyeol-" Before D.O finish his words, I get down from my bed and run out from the room.

"Aerin-ah!!!" Shout Appa to me but I ignored him.

"Gwenchana Ajusshi. I will get her." D.O stop Appa from running after me.

Appa just nod. He looks really weak when seeing me like people who are just get out from a madman hospital.

D.O quickly running to chase me. He grab my hand tightly.

"Aerin-ah, why are you so stubborn?!" He shout madly to me.

"Because I love him! I don't want to lose him!!!" Im shouting back to D.O with tears.

D.O bow down his head. He take a deep breath and look at me back.

"Arasso. Let me take you to Chanyeol." D.O guide me to Chanyeol room.

Im just keep quiet and follow him. He seem so sad after what I said earlier. It's make me curious seeing D.O like this.

"Here." D.O sit down on a chair beside me and bow his head. He doesn't bear to look Chanyeol at all.

I see Chanyeol lying down on a bed with full of wire all around his body. He doesn't move even 1 inch at all. He looks really terrible like a dead body.

I can't stop my tears from fall. What make me even sad is I can't apologize to him at all. I can't hold his hand. I can't hug him. The looking mirror are only the way for me to see him. I can't get into the room to meet him at all.

"Chanyeol Oppa...please forgive me...I love you...but you doesn't love me aymore...I can't control my feelings when I see you...that's why I prevent myself from meet you...mianhe..."

I can't handle my tears and my feelings anymore. I start to cry loudly, cry and cry. I can't bear to see him suffered like this.

"I want told you about his condition but you ignored me and run away just like that." D.O say sadly.

He just bow head head. He even not willing to look at me.

I look at D.O. He seem wants to cry but his strenght stop his tears come out from his eyes.

"Yah!!! Yah!!! What are you doing here?! Didn't I had warn you to go away from Chanyeol?!"

I turn around. Baekhyun shouted to me with anger. He approach me at push away me hardly untill I fall down.

"Mianheyo...I know it's my fault...I just want to apologize to him...Mianhe..." I grab Baekhyun's leg while begging to him.

D.O still keep silent. He doesn't take action by what Baekhyun are doing to me. He seem...so different.

"Your apologize can't make Chanyeol back like usual!!!" Baekhyun pull his leg roughly from my hands.

"Baekhyun-ah!" Suho shout from a far.

Lay quickly get me. He help me get up and take me to the nearer chair. He take out a tissue and rub my tears.

"What are thinking about?! Why did you did this to her?!" Suho shout agryly to Baekhyun.

"Why is everyone defend her?! This is all her fault! Can't you see how much Chanyeol suffered just because of her?!" Shout Baekhyun to Suho. His tears slowly start to fall down to his face.

Before Suho reply to Baekhyun, Xiumin stop him from say a word. Xiumin then approach Baekhyun and hug him.

"Baekhyun-ah, even this is her fault. You can't do this to her. Everyone had done wrong before. Don't cry anymore. You are sang namja right?" Xiumin rub Baekhyun's hair while Baekhyun crying all over on Xiumin's shoulder.

"But he is my best friend, Hyung... He always with me. I can't continue my life if he's not with me..." Baekhyun say sadly.

"No, Don't say like that. He will be fine, Baekhyun-ah."

While Xiumin persuade Baekhyun, Suho ask D.O to take me to my room. He doesn't want this problem become worse.

Before D.O take me to my room, Suho slowly approch me and sit beside me.

"Aerin-ah, Im sorry about Baekhyun's action towards you earlier. I will give you to meet Chanyeol after he recover later. From the time being, please don't visit Chanyeol." Say Suho to me.

Im shock by Suho words but I do understand them. They are just want to protect Chanyeol. They are just want to calm down Baekhyun.

I can't say anything, I just nod to him and get up with D.O help. D.O take me to my room with a sad face. I know he really sad about Chanyeol's condition or it is about my confession earlier?
Hm, I dont't know.

Im sorry... It's my fault...
______________________________________

'Kring! Kring! Kring!'

One message wake me from my daydream. I take my phone that I put on my bed and open the message box.

Big Eyes Soo: Chanyeol is recover fastly from our thought. He had been transferred to the normal ward. He can speak and laughing with us like usual.

Eventhough I can't visit him, I relief because I have D.O that willing to update me about Chanyeol's condition from he is in ICU ward untill he had been transferred to the normal ward now.

Aerin: That's a great news. I hope he will discharge soon.

But one thing that make me feeling weird. D.O seem started to keep away from me after I told him that I love Chanyeol.

Why he became like that?
Is he like me?
Or is he doesn't like if Im with Chanyeol because I doesn't suits Chanyeol at all?

Many questions that playing in my mind but still I can't find the answer without asking directly to D.O. I look out the window and fall into my thought.

What is going on with my life actually?

It's difficult for me.

I can't handle this alone.

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