New guy is a jerk and I'm his buddy [1&2]

Ch3. New guy is a jerk and I'm his buddy

Did I just say that?

'I mean, actually, not that you have a bunch of dates like that because your not that kind of guy. You wouldn't really take a bite out of them because you're not a vampire, are you?'

Did I just say he wasn't admirable? And ask if he was a vampire?

'Wait that sounded wrong. I didn't mean that you wouldn't have a lot of dates because you totally would.'

Did I just admit that I thought he would have dates because of some reason.

'Omigosh I'm babbling. Seriously. You wouldn't want to take me. I'm dance impaired and speech impaired,' I ended, blushing nervously and twisting my hands around.

'Jack. Chill. I was only asking you to relieve the tension. If you don't want to go, I won't force you,' he said, giving me a warm smile.

I mimed wiping sweat off my brow. Phew. Another awkward situation almost avoided [a/n - look at the alliteration!!]

And lunch resumed uneventfully.

****

Nothing happened for pretty much all the rest of the day until my last period. Chemistry. I actually quite loved Chemistry because Miss Lloyd probably was the coolest science teacher to ever walk on the planet. In the history of cool science teachers. Her name is pretty much in the Hall of Cool Science Teacher's hall. (if there is one) But the universe had other plans for me today, because after forgetting my locker combination, which never happens, made me late because I had to beg the receptionist for the combo. And Miss Lloyd was out sick. So we had a substitute, who hates me because I told her years ago that Antarctica is a desert and she told me off for calling out in class with 'incorrect information' and I retorted quite violently. When we looked it up, the entire class laughed because the fourth grader/year 5 student was right, but she never let it go and always blamed me. Back to the present. I was walking in, banking on the excuse that Miss Lloyd was going to let me off, and was instead meet with the scary/mean/hateful substitute, Mrs. Flavell. Que scary confrontation music. [a/n think in kids shows where the kid finds something horrible]

So, to exact her revenge, she made me partner up with Mr. Hateful/Snobbish/Guy who thinks I was a girl. The universe has something against me. This was the extent of our conversation.

'Pass the ruler.'

'No.'

'Now.'

'Fine.'

'Ha ha.'

'Give it back.'

'No.'

'You're annoying.'

'I know.'

I was scribbling down the notes when a pair of inflated balloon-like boobs stopped three inches from my nose. Nicole. Even from this angle I could see she had some work down. I mean, come on! When does one's boobs resemble perfect orb-like shapes that do not jiggle in any way, resembling circular rocks? Her dad was the cosmetic surgeon in our town. I was ignoring her and her fake boobs, foobs, until her loud, nasally voice cut through my mental chant of 'Ignore! Ignore! Ignore!'

'Sooooooooooooooo, Saaaaaammmmmmmmmmm.' she said, dragging out every letter in his name. Annoying bitch! 'Are you coming to Homecommminnnnnngggggg? Ehhmahhhhhggaaaaawwwwwwdddddd. Isn't that funny? Coming to Homecoming?'

I jiggled my leg under the table in an attempt to use up my nervous energy that severely wanted to be used to push over Nicole.

'I'm not quite sure. When is it?'

'Uhhhhhh, Saturday?'

'I don't know if I would make the effort.'

Ha ha Nicole! He's not so interested in her!

'But Saaaaammmmmmmmmmmmm!'

He grinned deviously. 'Does Jack dance?'

'What?!?' shouted/screamed Nicole and I simultaneously.

'I'll only go if she goes.' He muttered only loud enough for me to hear, 'payback'

I was going to slam my pencil down and tell him to butt out of my business when I realized the potential of the answer I was going to give. If I said no, the Nicole and her wannabe gang were going to make my existence even worse, but if I said yes, he would have to go with Nicole. For the whole night. Away from me. This was his revenge? Pathetic.

'I'll make a deal with you.'

He blinked in surprise.

'I'll go to the dance, but in exchange for that, I'm not your buddy anymore. You're a jerk, and you know it, and I hate being your buddy.'

'Fine words. Deal. I'll denounce you as my 'buddy' in exchange to see you in a dress. That should be a heart stopper.'

Nicole cackled and pecked Sam on the lips over the table, giving him an X-Rated view of her boobs.

I bit my tongue to hold back my retort. He had no idea what I could do to make his first Homecoming miserable. I smiled. I just had to find Max to be my date and it would be set.

****

When the bell rang, I found myself racing out of the door to find Max. Over the sea of heads, I spotted his blond, tousled hair and ran up to meet him.

'Look, I know earlier was awkward, but could I ask a favor?'

'I guess so.'

'Will you be my date to Homecoming?'

'No problem.'

'Seriously? That's insane!'

'Can I ask what the sudden change of mind was?'

'Let's just say that I have some plans for a certain someone.'

He gulped. 'It's not involving me, right?'

I laughed. 'Nope. It's for someone who really needs a lesson.'

I was turning around to walk away when he called after me.

'You're going to wear a dress, right?'

Crap. You wear dresses to these sort of things. Damn. Time to fulfill my mother's dream. I'm willingly going shopping with her. To buy a DRESS!! The world HAS had a cataclysmic change. *sigh*