Naked Love|| Saulbert

46|| End

"You okay?" Sauli questions softly from behind Adam.

"Yeah of course, just wanted to get Säde to bed." He smiles. Sauli raised his eyebrow.

"I know you're not okay, Adam." He sighs. "I do hear you at 3am when you wake up and go to the bathroom and cry because of your dreams."

"I don't want to talk about it." Adam says bluntly.

"I don't care, we are going to talk about it because we are to be married tomorrow and we still can't even tell each other what's going on! I want to know how my soon to be husband is feeling and when you don't tell me, I feel so useless."

"I feel empty again, Sauli." Adam says softly. "But I don't get why!? I feel empty but then I'm with you and Säde and I suddenly feel whole again and I start to think what will happen if either of you go, I won't be able to deal with another loss and it's killing me but not as bad as these dreams are."

"Säde and I aren't going anywhere, babe. What are you dreams about?" He replies, sitting on the bed softly. Adam sits next to him.

"It's always the same... You and Säde are looking at me... Säde is crying so much and you say it's all my fault... You have blood on you and it's mine... You scream at me and say you hate me." Adam chokes back the lump forming in his throat and fights back tears. "Then I wake up and cry even more."

Sauli hugs Adam straight away and holds him tightly. There's a silence before Adam's sobs fill the room. Sauli just holds on to him tightly, he didn't know what to say to try and calm him down.

"It'll get better, Adam. I promise." Sauli whispers gently.

"Don't make a promise you can't keep." Adam replies bluntly.

"Can you stop doing this?" He speaks suddenly, pulling away from Adam.

"Stop what?"

"This!" He yells. "Every time I try to comfort you or help you, you always make yourself feel worse each time. It's doing my head in because it fucking hurts when I try to help and you don't give a single shit!" Sauli breathes out heavily. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Adam says gently. "I did deserve it. I know I always make you mad when I don't listen to the words that really do help."

"Baby, I'm in love with you and I want you to get better. I know it's rough and it's going to take it time but it'll be worth it, baby, I know it will."

"I will get help." Adam smiles gently, taking Sauli into his arms. "Tomorrow is a new chapter in our lives and I need to stop dwelling in the past when we have a future together."

"Finally." Sauli chuckles, kissing Adam.

***** WEDDING *****

"Adam Mitchel Lambert, words cannot express how in love I am with you. Some days I'd wake up and see you still asleep and I'd try to picture my life without you or our daughter but I cannot. I love the way you make me smile, the way you tell the dumbest jokes yet I laugh anyway, I love how caring and protective you are of our little girl. I love the way you smile so passionate when you talk about something you love. I just can't believe that we are finally getting married, it's a dream come true. You're my everything, my only. I love you." Sauli spoke delicately, tears forming in his eyes as he saw Adam tearing up a little. He held Adam's hands tightly as Adam started to read his vowels.

"Sauli Eerik Koskinen, what can I say? There was something about you that dragged me towards your dorky smile and your adorable laugh. We have been through hell and back together and we've been through tough times that nobody should ever go through. You've been by my side throughout my episodes and my breakdowns, you've been by my side even when I'd tell you to go away. You literally saved me from death itself and that is something I can never repay. I love you so much, baby and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together." He smiled ever so bright. They stared into each other's eyes as the pastor began talking.

They both said 'I do' and kissed softly. The crowd cheered and clapped. They are finally married, something they've been waiting for so long.

"Let's get some cake!" Adam yelled loudly, still holding onto Sauli's hand as they walked toward the table of food and their rather large wedding cake that Tommy happily brought.

Sauli and Adam held the knife and slowly cut into the cake as people were snapping photos. Adam smiled happily as he got handed Säde who was dressed up in the most precious dress. She may not know what is going on but when she is older, this is what she'll know. She will forever be told that this day is the day her fathers tied the knot.

"So, you're now Mr Koskinen-Lambert!" Tommy beamed happily as he munched away on his piece of cake. Sauli smiled widely.

"Couldn't be happier with the name." Sauli replied, watching as Adam thanked friends that have come.

"You both deserve this, especially everything you've been through." He replies.

Sauli pats Tommy on the back. "Don't worry, you and Allison will be next." He winked, walking towards his husband. Music started playing softly.

"Ready for our first dance as husbands?" Sauli grinned. Adam nodded, taking his hand. 'All Of Me' played in the background as they walked toward the centre of the room.

"Can't believe we've made it this far." Adam whispers gently as they swayed.

"Me neither." Sauli replies. "I couldn't have it any other way, you're all I want."

"And you're all I need." Adam says softly, kissing Sauli on the lips. "Together, forever, baby."