Naked Love|| Saulbert

16|| For Your Entertainment

Adam smiled as he finally worked out a name for his very first album that he'll release.  "Sauli!" Adam yelled out as he laid on the hotel bed, writing some song ideas down.

"What?" Sauli replied, popping his out from the bathroom.

"I finally figured out a name for my album!" Adam grinned, Sauli walked over to where Adam was sitting and was handed a sheet of paper.

"For Your Entertainment? What are all the other titles?" Sauli asked, handing the sheet of paper back.

"They're the songs. I have the names for them, but I've only written about a half of them."

"Adam, what if you don't get the deal?" Sauli sighs, Adam frowns.

"You don't think I'll get it?" Adam's face dropped and his heart sank.

"No, I didn't mean it like that, babe." Sauli chuckled, sitting next to Adam. "Just don't get too excited."

"Yeah, you're right." Adam half smiles. "I didn't even think about the negatives."

"Well that's good, because you'll nail it and they'll love you, you're going to be a star, Adam."

Adam laughs. "Maybe."

"If you believe you can, then you will." Sauli grins.

Adam stands up from the bed, placing all of his sheets of work onto the dressing table, ready for tomorrow. He had so many ideas that he has wanted to share with people, professional people that will make him someone out of his voice.

"I always thought that being a teacher was what I really wanted, but being a singer is what I really want, I can feel it. It's like I was born for it." Adam laughs.

"Why did you resign? You resigned way before you got more into singing."

"I just couldn't handle the pressure..."

"Adam, there is going to be a lot more pressure if you get this deal, you know that right?"

"Yes, but the only person that can set the certain amount of pressure, is me!"

"What if you get really big? What if you're touring so much you can't keep up?" Sauli sighs.

"I-I never even thought about all that." Adam groans. "If I tour, that could mean months.... Without you."

"I'm not leaving anytime soon." Sauli smiles. "I'll be by your side no matter what, Adam."

Adam hugged Sauli tightly, his eyes feeling heavy.

"I'm getting some sleep, you?" Adam asked as he snuggled up into bed.

"Yeah, I'll be there soon." Sauli smiled. "Need a shower." He laughed, kissing Adam on the cheek, walking to the bathroom.

****************************

Adam jerked awake from another nightmare... The same nightmare he's been having for two weeks straight, he looked at the time on his clock, 5am. He sighed as he looked over at Sauli who was peacefully asleep. Lucky him.

"Fucking hell." Adam whispered to himself as he walked to the bathroom. He shut the door behind him, locking it. He stared into the mirror, his eyes looked worn out from very little sleep, his cheeks were covered with tears mixed with sweat...

Night after night Adam had a nightmare about him and Sauli arguing, Adam was yelling and crying at Sauli but Sauli seemed pissed off more than upset, he left the house, leaving Adam. Then the voices would come, singing hate into Adam's ear like it was a melody.

Adam looked back into the mirror, he didn't see himself, he saw an entirely different man, but he knew it was him, the dark side of him... Adam's breathing got erratic as he stared into the eyes of his darker self. It was his demons doing this...

'You're going to be a failure.' They screamed. 'They will laugh at you!'

"Stop it." Adam whispered, holding his head... why were they taunting him now?

'You think Sauli will stay? HE WILL LEAVE!' They screamed louder.

"STOP IT!" Adam screamed back, throwing his fist at the mirror, sending it shattering against the tiles. Adam breathed in quickly and deeply.

"Adam?" Sauli spoke softly, knocking on the door. "What's going on?"

"I'll be a minute." Adam spoke, calming himself down. He unlocked the bathroom door, walking past Sauli.

"What did you do?" Sauli spoke loudly. "Adam! Answer me!" Sauli yelled.

"What does it fucking look like? I smashed the fucking mirror!" Adam shouted, picking up his phone.

"Who are you calling at this time of morning?"

"I'm cancelling the record deal." Adam spoke sternly. Sauli snatched the phone off him quick.

"Like hell you are, why did you smash the mirror and why are you cancelling the deal?!" Sauli asked sternly, still mad at Adam.

"I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH, SAULI! CAN'T YOU FUCKING SEE THAT?" Adam screamed suddenly, tears forming in his eyes.

"No actually I can't see that because you're fucking perfect in my eyes!" Sauli shouts, he never got mad with Adam but right now he wanted answers and there was only one word to describe Adam, stubborn. "Where the hell is this coming from? You were so excited last night."

"I'm going to stuff it up, Sauli.. don't you see?" Adam cried, his voice still raised.

"You won't, Adam." Sauli sighed. "The only person that think you will is yourself, this is your anxiety talking, you're nervous, you don't need to be."

"What if they don't like me because I'm gay?"

"Elton John is gay, he still made it big, Ricky Martin is gay, he made it." Sauli says trying to reassure Adam.

"I don't know if I can do it." Adam shakes. "I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it." He repeated over again, Sauli walked over to him, slapping him across the cheek.

"Stop!" Sauli spoke sternly as Adam held his cheek in shock, Sauli felt bad for slapping him but he needed to snap out of it. "You are making it worse by stressing over it, look, we have 2 hours until you see them, okay, lets just get ready and go for breakfast?" Sauli suggests.

Adam nods. "Okay." He says quietly.

"I'm sorry I slapped you. You just needed to snap out of it." Sauli says sadly.

"Thank you." Adam spoke, hugging him. "Come on, lets go get pancakes." Adam laughs.

Adam still had the thought of not being good enough in the back of his mind, he still felt terrible, even though Sauli helped him believe that he will be good enough, he is afraid of fucking it all up, making a fool of himself...