Naked Love|| Saulbert

32|| 6 Months On|| Christmas Update

Here is a special Christmas Update, just to get more into the festive spirit ❤ Also, I just saw my Dad stealthy buying Adam Lambert tickets for next month's 2016 TOH tour, I don't think I was supposed to see but oh well ;) enjoy dolls ❤❤

Sauli pov
Time moved ever so slowly, the days dragged on aggressively, my mind was scattered and my thoughts were constantly jumbled. Six months... It has been six fucking months Adam has been in his Coma, the doctors told me it shouldn't have been more than a few weeks, but it's been six months. Six painful months of watching Adam go through surgery after surgery due to his legs, the bones basically got crushed when he fell...

Tommy keeps making me go out and have a life but I can't leave him. I don't want to. What if he wakes up? What if wakes up and he is alone? He was alone when he jumped, I don't want to leave him again.

The doctors from the institution he was at have paid for Adam's hospital fees, they didn't want to get taken to court so we agreed for them to pay all expenses due to the fact Adam was in their care when he jumped, but if he dies, they're getting taken to court, no matter what. I still fear for Adam waking up and not remembering anything. I hope he wakes up soon... Christmas is only a few days away, to think it's been almost a year I've known Adam, time has flown so fast... It is insane.

Leila and Neil still haven't visited, they want nothing to do with Adam, even though they acted so kind after Adam's dad's passing... But as soon as Adam is in trouble, they act like Adam isn't even their son/brother. My dad has been trying to call me for weeks, I keep ignoring him, letting my phone go flat so I don't have to deal with the calls and texts. He wants me home for Christmas... Who would've thought? My extremely homophobic father wants me home for Christmas. There's probably a catch, he probably needs money. Which I'm struggling with currently, I haven't worked in so long, not with Adam in hospital. Tommy keeps telling me Adam would want me to go to work, what does he know? How does he know what Adam wants?? Adam wants to die and no one knew that, did they??

"Brought you a coffee." I heard Adam's doctor, Sam, speak. She is a real nice lady, she always wore her hair up in a bun, her lips were always a light shade of red, she always wore a smile.

I smiled, taking the Starbucks cup from her. "Thank you." I say as I take a sip of the hot coffee. I hadn't even realised how late it was, 4;30am to be exact.

"How are you holding up?" Sam asks, taking a sip from her cup.

"Could be better, I guess." I say honestly. 'I'd be perfect if Adam was with me.'

"I know exactly how you feel." She sighed. "My brother was 15 when he overdosed on sleeping tablets, at first the doctors didn't want me in the room, I didn't know who it was then, I just wanted to help when I heard it was a suicide attempt, I basically demanded to be let in the room. When they let me in, my heart broke, they were trying to bring my brother back, they tried so hard." As Sam spoke, I could see the pain in her eyes.

"Did he make it?"

"He died that night." She sighed. I saw a single tear fall from her eyes. "That was two years ago and I swore I'd never let another person die from that, no matter what."

"I'm so sorry." It was all I could say...

"It's fine." She smiled softly. "You're a good man, Sauli, you never leave Adam's side. I always see you, always holding his hand or reading to him. I know he'll make it through, he's a strong man for holding on this long and you're a strong man for not giving up on him. He must mean a lot to you."

"He's my whole world, I love him."

"Love is important, especially these days. I need to go, I just finished my shift. Keep warm, okay?" She smiles, standing to her feet.

"You too, have a good Christmas."

"I will, and I hope you do too. I'll probably see you here."

"Probably." I smile back. I wave her goodbye and finish off my drink, placing it in the bin.

I lay next to Adam, holding his hand softly.

"I love you, Adam Lambert." I whisper, closing my eyes.

||Christmas Eve||

"Hey, Sauli." Tommy smiles softly, I lift my head as I watch him take a seat next to me.

"Hey." I say softly, rubbing my eyes.

"Have you had a decent nights sleep at all?"

"Not since Adam was admitted, no." I chuckle softly. "The doctors gave me something to help with my sleeping but I don't bother with it."

"You aren't the only one affected by this." Tommy groans suddenly. I frown.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I know you love Adam and everything but there are others hurting over this. Lisa and myself to name a few."

"Did I mention anything about being the only one affected?" I snap. "I don't think so."

"You've been here every single night for the past six months, you're making it seem as if you're the victim."

"You're being fucking shallow right now. I don't see myself as the victim, just because I don't want to leave Adam's side doesn't mean anything other than the fact that I love him."

"He wouldn't be here if it weren't for you." Tommy suddenly snapped. I stood to my feet.

"You're blaming me for this? Why the fuck would you blame me?"

"For the same reason you're blaming yourself."

"You and I both know that Adam has been dealing with his demons for so long."

"Yes I know, but it just got worse when you waltzed into his life." Tommy spoke through gritted teeth.

"Just because Adam doesn't love you in the way you want, doesn't mean you can target me for that." I snap.

"You think I love Adam? Wow."

"Oh please, we all know it! And we all know that when Adam kissed you during the ama's, you fell so hard for him like a school girl."

"Yeah, when Adam kissed ME." Tommy glared, standing to his feet. "I didn't kiss him first, so maybe you should ask yourself why he says he loves you when he kisses me in front of thousands of people. Hmm?"

"Because I wasn't there so he needed to feel something and so when he saw you, he took the opportunity to use you, but I don't think you were as good tasting as me, otherwise he'd be with you!" I shout.

"So what? Everytime you're not there, I'm used as the rebound? As if that doesn't mean anything, you don't kiss someone if you love someone else. Put the fucking dots together you fuckhead! Adam doesn't give a shit about you, he never has so stop making it all about you when the person laying in that bed doesn't even care about you anymore!" Tommy shouts back.

I stand, completely frozen...

"Sauli?" Adam's voice suddenly speaks, I turn my head to see Adam sitting up in his bed, confused.