AWAKE - kim seok jin

Chapter 17: Blackout

time check; 10:00pm

I laid on the bed with my arms spread on both sides, totally lost in my own world. His words kept ringing in my mind, I felt even guiltier.

'You like me, but I feel more than that about you.'

I love him, and they say that action speaks louder than words. Isn't my care and affection that I gave him enough? Enough for him to realize that I really love him?

It is true, I never said those three words to him. But I really love him, I love him more than I love anyone in this world.

More than I love myself, I think.

I kept checking my phone to see if maybe he would leave a message, saying that he felt sorry or that he missed me, but no. There was none.

I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. Just as I was about to drift into dreamland, my phone beeped and the screen lit up, showing the notification.

I took my phone and squinted my eyes, hoping it was from Jin but instead it was from Jimin.

CHAT BOX

jibooty: Areum.

areum: yes???

jibooty: :'(

areum: hey whats wrong jimin?

jibooty: jungkook said he doesnt like me.

jibooty: he said i was too clingy

jibooty: im sad

jibooty: and hurt.

areum: aw :(

areum: maybe he's not the one for you

areum: god has better plans, okay?

jibooty: now that i think about it

jibooty: no matter how many times i pointed out yoongi's flaws and yelled at him and everything

jibooty: ..he never gets mad at me

jibooty: instead he smiles, shakes his head and pulls me into a bear hug

jibooty: somehow it makes me feel.. like he's the one, you know?

areum: i dont know what god plans for you, but

areum: just go with your heart, when your heart says yes then it's a yes, jimin.

areum: maybe yoongi is really the one for you, dont you think?

jibooty: yeah.

jibooty: give me some time to think about all this

jibooty: well sorry for disturbing you this late at night, i just needed someone to talk to. goodnight areum, sleep tight.

areum: goodnight jimin

areum: :)

I put down my phone, and sighed as I smiled weakly.

I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled them slightly. What had I done, today?

I was staring at the ceiling when suddenly the lights went out. I jolted up from my bed almost instantly, feeling a little scared. I was always afraid of the darkness. even worse, I was alone in this apartment.

I ran quickly towards my mini kitchen, using only the flashlight from my phone to guide the way and rummaged through the counters to find some candles.

I finally found one and lit it with a match. I looked outside the window to find out that even the building on the other wing was having a blackout too, and I shook my head.

I bit my lip when I heard a knock on the door. What if it's a rapist? Kidnapper? Robber? All sorts of 'what ifs' were running through my head.

I picked up my courage and crept up to the door, unlocking it slowly and I opened it-- revealing a.. ghost?!

"AH!" I screamed as I almost fell down but that ghost caught me and I stood up again.

"Yah, yah it's me! Seojun!" he whispered.

I placed my palm on my chest and sighed in relief. "Why did you point the flashlight towards your face?! You looked like a ghost!"

He chuckled slightly and shrugged his shoulders. "Actually.. can I come in? I'm.. scared."

I was speechless for quite awhile, but I still made my way for him to enter my apartment and he sat on the couch.

"Thank you." he said in a soothing tone, I could see him smiling although it was kind of dim. I sat beside him on the couch too and faced him.

"You're welcome." I replied. "Anyway, aren't you supposed to be in the hospital now? How come you're discharged so early?"

"It wasn't that bad.. you don't have to worry now." he muttered. "The doctor discharged me because my condition is already stable. So here I am," he grinned.

I nodded my head and bit my lower lip. I didn't know what to reply and just looked around my apartment, while the awkwardness slowly filled the room.

"Um," I said. "Do you want.. something to drink?"

"Sure."

I got up and went to the kitchen, grabbed a glass and poured in cold water from the jug. I went back to him and handed him the glass, which he gladly took. I sat beside him again.

"I'm sorry for what happened today. You didn't have to protect me actually. I'll be okay." I huffed. "Why did you.."

"—I don't even know why I protected you. I just did it by instinct. I felt the need to save you, and I did." he answered me. "I told you, you don't have to worry. Act like none of these have never happened, alright?"

I nodded and listened to his soothing voice for quite awhile now, it made me feel sleepy. My lids were drooping but I barely kept them open. I could see him shifting closer to me and he placed his hand on my head, pushing it gently towards his lap. He made me lay down on his lap and he caressed my hair softly.

He hummed a tune, and ran his fingers through my hair. I know it's wrong to do this with another guy when I already have a boyfriend- but at that time I didn't care. I just wanted to break free for a moment.

I slowly drifted to sleep while listening to his lullaby. But before that, I could hear his voice, saying something and it made my heart feel touched. But his voice was so faint, so faint.. that I could barely remember it the next day.

"I love you."