May I?

Pieces

It was only 5 am when whimpering woke Blaine from his slumber. He blinked tiredly and rubbed his eyes to see Kurt staring at him through his good eye which made Blaine gasp and lean forward in his chair, stroking Kurt's hairline softly with his thumb. Kurt closed his eye to the touch and that's when it hit him. He wasn't home. The beeping wasn't his alarm. This wasn't a dream. Kurt tensed and his hand slowly slipped down to the bandages and flat skin and Blaine hung his head, trying not to watch as the hand felt around for a hint of life but felt nothing but bandages. A stifled sob broke Kurt's trembling lips as he began to shake his head and Blaine finally looked at his boyfriend. His pained, battered, babyless boyfriend and broke down with him. Kurt couldn't believe it, he didn't want to believe it but the realization was there as he let Blaine hold onto him and his arm cradled empty skin. For the life of him, Kurt couldn't stop once he started screaming, wailing, sobbing, pleading and begging while Blaine just kept apologizing for five hours straight. It was a steady 11 am when Kurt just rested his head against Blaine's chest and sniffled.

Their hearts were broken, shattered into a million pieces as the realization kept beating them. Hitting them and pulling them from that blissful fantasy world they were in. They just lied there remembering the good times. Blaine's hand ghosted over Kurt's bandages before Kurt placed it down and held onto it tight. He remembered whenever he was near Blaine they would always do this and it made Kurt happy.

Blaine snuggled up behind Kurt as they watched some movie Kurt wanted to watch. Kurt was watching the movie while carefully laying on his side with his arm folded under his head, Blaine was watching Kurt. He could hardly pay attention when he had a gorgeously pregnant boy just in his reach. The gorgeously pregnant boy carrying their baby. It was theirs. No one else's. Blaine took his hand and softly laid it on Kurt's bump which made Kurt smile and turn his head to face Blaine and smirked as Blaine rubbed his belly in a tiny circle.

"I can't wait for it to come." He said.

"I can't believe it's gone." Kurt whispered out brokenly. Blaine was behind him, holding onto him as he just laid in Blaine's arms and had his head turned to the side to lay in between Blaine's neck and shoulder. A doctor had come and told them that Kurt suffered from a broken wrist, cracked rib, hit to the head, deep bruising, fractured leg and had to have a blood transfusion after the severe blood loss as well as miscarriage. The last bit was what killed Kurt and he just kept apologizing over and over to Blaine for not being strong enough, smart enough. Blaine just shushed him and held him until he calmed down again. Blaine rubbed Kurt's arms.

"They killed it. They-they saw it and killed it anyways."

"She was so innocent Kurt."

Kurt's eyes looked up into Blaine and they became a sad gloomy grey.

"She? It was a she?"

"Santana asked the nurse out of curiosity and she said it was a girl."

"Did you get to see her?"

"No. No she was covered by a baby blanket. God our little girl."

It was now Kurt's turn to comfort Blaine as he wept for the daughter they could've had. The daughter he failed to protect. The daughter that got murdered in a high school gym. He wept harder for Kurt. For Kurt who was tricked. For Kurt who was scared and probably screamed for help. For Kurt who ended up on that laminated wood floor covered in bruises and blood who cried and pleaded as the life of their daughter drained out beyond his control. Sobs and apologies left his lips in a jumbled mess and Kurt joined him. They spent that whole day heartbroken and feeling so empty even though they had each other. It took two whole days of tears and nightmares and numbness before they let anyone finally visit them. Quinn and Puck were the first two to come. Quinn knocked softly and walked in, Puck following behind her.

"Hey guys." She said.

"Hey Quinn." Blaine rasped out and Kurt gave a small smile as the two sat carefully on the edge of Kurt's bed.

"How are you guys?" Puck asked.

"I think it's starting to settle in now but it still hurts when you wake up. I was used to being pregnant and greeting...her...but now all I greet is a bunch of bandages." Kurt closes his eyes and Quinn just takes hold of his hand. He opens them and sighs heavily, looking up at the ceiling and counts to ten while Blaine took over.

"It's been a rough two days and we know Kurt will have to talk to the police soon-"

"Take your time. This isn't an easy thing but don't worry about anything but getting better physically and mentally and Quinn, Santana, Finn and I will handle the rest." Puck said.

"Thank you." Kurt said before looking around. "Santana and Finn didn't come with you guys?"

"Umm well they volunteered to stay back for reasons." Puck said.

"And those reasons are?" Blaine asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well see when the bad day happened everyone else kind of saw the stretcher coming in and out. They're not going to tell anyone anything because that's totally up to you dudes. Anyways they stayed back so they could stop everyone from barreling down here to see you and we figured you wouldn't want that."

"I'm not ready for them yet. I need more time." Kurt said.

"We'll let them know. Oh Rachel wanted us to give you this." Puck said, holding up a medium pink bag. "I don't know whats in it but she said its for you." He handed it to Kurt who peeked in the bag and pulled out the item to see a book. He didn't know what made him feel worse, the fact she actually bought a onesie knowing the baby was gone or the fact that she wanted to try and be a friend to him now when she didn't even see the real reason he was being protective. Kurt just folded the onesie back up and stuffed it back in the bag, handing it back to Puck before he carefully turned to his side and closed his eyes. Blaine frowned at Kurt before he understood and looked apologetically at Puck and Quinn. They bid their goodbyes and Kurt just let them hug him and waited for the sound of the door closing before a let a tear fall but it wasn't out of sadness. It was out of anger. Blaine moved to stroke his back but Kurt shook his head and his voice cracked as he spoke.

"Can I be alone please?"

"Kurt-"

"Blaine please. Please just...just go."

Blaine sighed and nodded, kissing Kurt's temple before he got out of the bed and left the room. Kurt waited a minute before he allowed himself to mourn by himself in the pillow. He remembered when he would feel little flutters when he was in class and how when he was home he would just lay in bed and rub his stomach while watching movies or listening to music. He would never get to feel that again. Not without feeling that fear. Not without seeing their hateful faces. Not without feeling the hits and kicks in his dreams. Silent sobbing turned to painful, choking sobs. He was so scared and angry at the same time. They ruined him. They ruined his and Blaine's perfect dream. It was an innocent baby.

"She was innocent. She was innocent, She was innocent, She was innocent, She was innocent. I don't understand." He sobbed and sniffled.