Let The Sky Fall (Synyster Gates Series: Book 3)

Silence Like A Cancer Grows

"Shit." I cursed, out loud. Brian was too far to hear me, so I decided not to mention anything to him. 

Of course I was worried about my mom. She wasn't ever the type to get sick. I started to fear the worse, but assuming things based on flu-like symptoms would be the stupidest thing to do. 

Towards the evening, Zacky and Lindsay came over. He wanted to work on a few new songs they had written and Brian took it as an opportunity to show him what he'd written. I took that as my cue to take out Linds and Sophia. We headed down to the mall, shopped around for a bit, then went back home after just a few hours. 

I actually enjoyed hanging out with Lindsay. The relationship she had with Zacky made me see her extremely differently. I admit, at some point I didn't want to like her. I guess you could say  I was picking sides with Gena. But she was just too sweet and respectable not to like. I knew she was good for Zacky, just like he was good for her. 

Once Linds and I got home, the boys were still hard at work in the basement. Lindsay made herself comfortable in the living room while I took Sophia up to the bedroom. It was past her bedtime and the tears she cried entire ride home said she needed to be put down to sleep. 

As I changed Sophia, my brother's name popped up on my phone's screen. I hadn't spoken to him since he last updated me on my mom. I finished putting on a new diaper on her, then answered the phone. 

My heart broke as the snivelling and whimpers on the other side of the phone came from my brother. 

"What's wrong, Randy?" I asked, carrying Sophia to her crib, then carefully placed her down.

He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, "Jackie, you have to sit down." 

Not the words I wanted to hear from my brother, I thought to myself, "Randy, what's going on?" 

"Dude, I swear, we came in for the smallest reason and we- Ah," He cried. I'd never seen or even heard Randy cry and it really made me want to hold him. 

I felt the warm tears form at the corner of my eyes, sensing bad news. "Randy..." 

"Jackie, mom has Stage 4 Liver Cancer." He spoke in a regretful, painful and dysfunctional tone before allowing himself to release more tears. 

I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. My bottom lip quivered uncontrollably as my body tried to sit itself on the rocking chair. Did I hear correctly? "What?" I said above a whisper. 

He hummed, catching a breath before crying some more, "Yeah. They ran some tests and they found cancer and a tumor said classified it as Stage IVB. I'm so scared, Jacqueline." 

Hearing it seemed unreal. My mom was a strong, stubborn woman. Why would she get cancer? It can't be... "Are you messing with me?" I asked, the tears slowly leaving my eyes, sliding down my cheeks. 

"Fuck, Jackie, I'm being honest. Do you think I'd be crying so much if I was kidding?" He shouted, making me flinch. "It's fucking hard to believe, okay? I know. I'm still in shock myself, but this is happening..."  

"Oh my God." Was all I said. I covered my face, crying into my hand, not being able to come to terms with what was happening. 

I wanted to be held. I felt so alone. I needed Brian, or Randy, or Zacky, or my dad. I didn't like this feeling. I didn't like my mom being diagnosed with Stage Four cancer... 

"They want to keep her in the hospital until later on tomorrow so the specialist can come in and check her out. She might need a liver transplant depending on the size of the tumor and whether or not the radiation and chemo will work..." He continued. 

All these words coming from Randy were scaring me. Chemo, Radiation, Tumor, Transplant. I hated them. 

"What caused it?" I asked, trying to collect myself. 

He sighed, "Dad just told me they used to drink a lot when we weren't around... I didn't even know this. But it could be anything, the doc said. It's so scary. Jackie, I wish you were here. I don't know what to do. Shit, I have to go, the doctor just came in. I'll text you." He spoke in a hurry. "Jacks. I love you sis." 

I wasn't able to get a word out as he hung up before I could. I dropped my phone on my lap, then proceeded to silently cry. 

I didn't want to burden anyone with my problems, specially not Brian and Zacky while they worked. I wasn't close enough to Lindsay to go into detail about things and Gena wasn't in town. My only hope was Marlene but ever since she was going out with her new boy-toy, she'd push me aside. Not that it mattered, I had a busy life myself. But I wanted someone to speak to-- to vent to. 

I swallowed all fears and doubts I had of bothering Brian while he worked and headed down to the basement. 

"You okay?" Lindsay asked just as I reached the bottom step. "I thought I heard you crying?" 

I nodded, "I stubbed my toe," I lied smiling and wiping the tears away, "I'm such a girl. Are you hungry or something?" 

She fidgeted in her seat, "Uh, no..." She gave me a suspicious look before returning her attention to the television. 

Avoiding anymore questions, I continued to make my way to the basement. 

"That sounds too alternative. Try like dun-dun not dun-dun-dun." I heard Brian say from other side of the door.

Instead of knocking, I entered, being as quiet as I possibly could. Zacky played a small tune before having Brian reject it. "What's up?" Zacky asked, taking a swig of his beer, frustrated by Brian's stubbornness. 

I shook my head, sitting beside Brian on the couch. "Nothing..." 

"You're not a very good liar, my love." Brian said, putting the guitar down. "Do you want Zacky to give us some time so we can talk?" I shook my head, not making eye contact with either one of them. "Baby, look at me. What's wrong?" 

I knew if I'd make direct eye contact with him, my eyes would tear up again and I couldn't chance that. 

"Jackie, what's wrong?" Zacky asked this time, placing his guitar on the floor beside Brian's custom. 

"Babe," Brian took his fingers under my chin and forced my head in his direction. Our eyes met, "What's wrong?" 

My bottom lip quivered again. His eyes were searching mine for any possible answer, "My mom has cancer..." I choked out. 

It took a moment for it to sink into Brian's head, but once it did, he pulled me into his embrace. 

My emotions took over, causing me to weep into Brian's chest. He held me so tight, not speaking a word; simply rubbing my back and rocking me back and fourth. He'd place kisses on top of my head, assuring me that things would be alright.

But I knew nothing would be... Nothing at all.