Separated: 5SOS BSM

26. Silliness (CALM)

"Hey, sorry it took so long it was under my bed," Calum handed the video camera to you and turned to his band mate, "the baby food challenge, a good choice."

"Let me know when you want me to start." You said fiddling with the buttons to get it working properly.

"Alrighty, go." Calum said a few seconds later, "Hey everybody! It's me and Michael here today and we're going to do the baby food challenge. We're going to taste the different kinds of food and whoever pukes first loses." He explained, and Michael looked hesitant, but put on a face for the camera.

"Let's start with the split pea, shall we?" Calum giggled, handing Michael a spoon and taking one for himself. They each took a small spoonful and simultaneously ate them. Right away they were sputtering and rushing over to the sink to spit it out.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Calum screeched and you had to fight the urge to laugh and make the camera shake.

"I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M SORRY I CAN'T DO IT!" Michael said, rushing out of the kitchen.

"Michael wai-," you paused when you heard the door slam shut, "-t." Moving the camera back towards your very confused brother, you motioned him to continue.

"Well uh, I guess that's it for now?" He said awkwardly and you stopped the video.

"Do you think we should see if he's okay?" You asked, turning back towards the closed door.

"Nah, he'll be fine, just not used to vegetables."

Michael:
Michael was a stereotypically overprotective brother. He treated you like an elementary student instead of the high schooler you were, and therefore the house rules were very juvenile as well. You generally put up with his tyrannical dictations, but there has always been one which has held you back, absolutely no swearing. The idea that you shouldn't swear was hypocritical as Michael had the mouth of a sailor, but it was made even worse by your large and colorful vocabulary. Due to this unfortunate conflict, you had probably spent more of your time without your phone than with it.

What Michael didn't expect was for you to take to the internet and find the list of Shakespearean non-cursing insults. Technically they were cursing but they didn't use any of the words Michael had specifically forbade making it the perfect substitute. All you had left to do was try it out on your brother.

A sudden knock on the door brought you down to the entryway where Michael was welcoming in his band mates. You had been hoping it was the mailman, and really didn't want to interact with these people at this time. Inching back towards your room, you were extremely focused on being quiet and efficient no longer paying attention to anything else.

"HEY! Y/N COME BACK WHERE ARE YOU GOING?" Luke screamed scaring the living daylights out of you.

"FU-SAUCY TOAD-SPOTTED HARPY!" You screeched in surprise, saving yourself from yet another extension on your phone free period.

"What?" Calum was laughing hysterically while Luke and Ashton looked surprised and Michael irritated by your, unique, outburst.

"That's really the first thing that came to mind?" Calum panted, trying to stand up straight but failing as he kept on laughing uncontrollably.

"Not the first, but a close second." You said disdainfully giving Michael an irritated eye-roll.

"Why?" Ashton sighed, clearly unsure whether or not he wanted to know the answer.

"Because Michael being a churlish half-faced foot-licker and won't let me curse properly." You huffed, giving Michael another dirty look.

"I am NOT a FOOT LICKER!" Michael whined childishly completely missing the point.