Not Sure If It Matters

Why Us?

Pete sat in the waiting room with the rest of the guys. Joe thankfully told the venue owner to tell the fans the show will be postponed till tomorrow. Cecilia said to wait for about an hour and then go to his room.

No one dared to talk to Pete. They knew he was upset by how quiet he was and the way he kept tapping his foot against the floor. Soon the time came for Pete to go to Patrick's room.

He slowly walked in to see Patrick's back facing him. He was curled up on the bed facing the wall. Pete went and sat in the chair. He looked at Patrick and was tempted to say something, but decided otherwise.

Patrick didn't want to talk at all. He had just got done with an ultrasound with Cecilia. As soon as he saw the small baby, that he now knows he won't be able to hold, he started to break down. Cecilia had just given him a sad smile and walked out with the machine.

Patrick was quietly crying and had a hand on his stomach. He was offered a hospital gown but he denied. He used his cardigans long sleeve to wipe some of his tears away.

Cecilia soon walked in and nodded her head at Pete. She went over and bent down in front of Patrick.

"So we're gonna have to go through the procedure but its gonna be later on tonight. You remember how that works right?" Patrick nodded his head. "You're gonna be okay Patrick. You were strong the first time" Patrick didn't say anything and she just stood up.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked Pete quietly. He nodded and followed her out the room. "So we can confirm it is a miscarriage. We are gonna do the procedure later on today so you guys are gonna be here awhile. He will be perfectly fine tomorrow except for some minor things that Patrick already knows" she explained.

"Can I ask how far along he was?"

"He was around one or two months along"

"Fuck" Pete whispered.

"Do you know if he was drinking? Cause from his urine sample I found traces of alcohol"

"Yeah. He started drinking awhile back. I think it was how he was coping with the first miscarriage. Do you think that's what caused this to happen?"

"Most likely yes" she confirmed.

"You think he'll be okay?" Pete asked. He wanted to be sure that his husband will be fine.

"I don't know. You just got to be there for him. Just be sure he doesn't go back to drinking. I saw on his record he was admitted in one time for it" she said looking in the room to make sure Patrick was okay.

"He was admitted for drinking?"

"Yeah um" she pulled her clipboard up and started flipping through papers. "Right here says in early 2011 he was admitted for alcohol poisoning. He was in very bad condition that he was a short coma. I thought you would know about this. Four months later you guys were together."

"I never knew about this" Pete thought Patrick told him everything, but he guess not.

"Just keep an eye on him Pete" with that Cecilia walked away.

Pete sighed and walked back into the room. He sat down and looked at Patrick.

"She told you" Patrick softly said.

"Yeah" was all Pete could say. He sat there looking at the floor for sometime until he looked back at Patrick. He stood up and got into the hospital bed with Patrick. He slowly wrapped his arms around Patrick's waist.

Patrick was laying there trying not to cry. He wanted to be alone, but he knew that was a bad idea. Pete kissed Patrick's temple causing Patrick to turn around so they were facing each other.

"I'm sorry" Pete said causing Patrick to break down again. He started crying into Pete's shirt and Pete just rubbed his back.

"If I wasn't drinking we could of had a baby. I-I keep f-fucking everything up" Patrick said through his sobs.

"You didn't fuck anything up, Trick."

"You don't have to lie Pete" Patrick moved back so he can look into Pete's eyes. "We lost the first baby cause I tripped and this time it's due to me drinking. We could of had three beautiful children if it wasn't for me."

"Don't say that Patrick. Maybe we weren't meant to have three beautiful children. At least not at the moment."

"You were right about me being baby hungry" Patrick said with a sad smile.

"You still think about that day?"

"Yeah. I'm glad you didn't leave me" Patrick said pressing his face against Pete's chest.

"I'm glad I didn't leave too. I love you Patrick. We're gonna be okay" They both drifted off to sleep in each others arms.

A/n: Sorry this story is starting to get really sad. It will get more happy soon though. I'll gonna start on the Joshler mpreg once I finish four more chapters from this fic. Love you guys and leave comment about what you want to happen.