You're light to me

36. Jealousy

My return to New York City was too short, at least for me. I didn't want to go back to LA alone, to be rehearsing everyday fro the tour, I just wanted to say there with Karlie or at least that the model came with me a few days. Selena was in London with Ed, she finally took Karlie's advice and went to visit him. Ella was visiting Austin in Notre Dame. Cara was in Paris with Gigi and Martha was in New York for a shoot with Karlie. Jamie and Lily were in Nashville and Sarah en Chicago. Why did all my friends decide to run away from LA now that I was going to be there for so much time?

After a couple of days in the city, the HAIM sisters texted me to tell me they were also in LA. I had talked with them a lot since we exchanged numbers back at the Victoria Secret Fashion Show. I really like them, they were funny so I could use the company in the city. I invited them over for dinner after one day of rehearsals. It was that night when they suggested to take a crazy trip only for a weekend to some desert beach. I didn't doubt it, I accepted the idea. Karlie was in New York babysitting my cats and woking all weekend with Victoria Secret and Martha so there wasn't any chance she could come to LA to visit me. I didn't know exactly who but KArlie didn't take it the news really well which provoke tension between us.

-Karlie, what is wrong?- I asked when I noticed her voice changing.

-It's just that I don't understand why you are doing this improvised trip- Karlie answered.

-I am bored in LA Karlie, they came to the house for dinner and they suggested it and I thought it was a great idea to distract myself- I explained confused.

-Sure it was a great idea going to a desert beach partying and drinking instead of rest at home- she said ironically.

-You are not mad when I stayed until late with you and I have rehearsals the next morning which mean I will be tired- I said now annoyed by her attitude.

-It is not the same thing- she protested hurt by my accusation.

-Come on Karlie! don't be silly- I sighed and relaxing a little bit- you can come if you want.

-I have work to do here- she said seriously- besides I have Olivia and Meredith here, remember?

-Are you mad at me because you are taking care of the cats instead of taking them with me?- I asked, not sure about why we were fighting at that moment.

-Oh god Taylor, you don't understand anything!- Karlie said I could hear her rolling her eyes from New York.

-Because you are not making it easy- I defended myself, this time it wasn't my fault.

-Never mind, I'm not in the mood to talk about it anymore- Karlie said, it was late and she had to work the next day- do what ever you want.

-Come on Kar- I said before she hung the phone.

-Goodbye Taylor- the model said slowly- we will talk, let me know when you land so I know you are safe.

-But...- I tried to protest.

-Have a good flight- she said with a hoarse voice and then she hung.

I spent a while looking at the phone, trying to know in what moment my conversation with KArlie telling her the happy news turned into a fight. I didn't want to leave with that sensation and feeling that we were on bad terms so I texted her a last text trying to calm the air.

Taylor: I love you Karlie, no matter what

Karlie: Goodnight babe

My girlfriend had to work all the weekend and she has used it as an excuse for not exchange more than three messages in one day when I try to talk with her. That and the different time zones did not help either. Finally we decided to go to the Virgin Islands, we had a few hours on the plane so as soon as we decided it I called for the plane to be ready that night. I could not wait to have some rest. In just two days we made excursions and tours of the mountains, we also rested on the beach and we ate a lot. They made me feel like a sister and I spent hours laughing with them. Alana was the most serious of the three but Este was just the opposite, I think she couldn't say something serious for more than a minute. On the other side was Danielle, she was sweet, attentive and she was the balance of her other two sisters who were totally opposed. I got along very well with her because she had tastes quite similar to mine and it was with who I spent more time on the trip, she was also my age.