You're light to me

29. Victoria Secret FS

The days before the launching of my new album were always like a roller coaster of emotions for me: nervous, anxiety, happiness, impatient and more. I would announce that it was available to buy with a performance in New York. The record label had planned a show on a roof top on my neighborhood where I would sing a few of my new songs with the Empire State Building behind me projecting lights at the rhythm of my music. I was really nervous about that, it would be rebroadcasting live for the world to watch it and I was sure that performance would make people deciding if they would buy my album or not. It wasn't helpful either that a my girl, the one who had been calming those days was now at the other side of the country. Karlie had a shoot in California for Cosmopolitan and I missed her too badly. Last few weeks had been a little complicated for us because we were busy with our works and her college. Far away were the days when we ran away to have lunch together, we just had to settle with sleep in the same bed at night when we could. Paparazzis were almost all day in my front door camping. The release of the album put me again on the center of the press. That was the reason why Karlie couldn't come home some days. Did it bother me? Of course but I had a lot of things going on on my mind at the time to also worry about Karlie stuff. The model tried to compensate me with flowers, kisses and spoiling me as much as she could when we were together. the nights when she wasn't at the apartment we usually used FaceTime for hours, like we were in the same bed but it didn't feel the same even if we tried to pretend it.

Now I was already dressed and with my make up done, ready to go out in that roof top feeling more nervous than ever. I had picked the fans that would be there personally and told Tree so she made it happen. My parents and my brother where there with me to support. My mother gave me my phone just a couple of minutes before I had to go out because Karlie was calling. I smiled. The model wanted to wish me luck and told me she already had bought the album and listened it several times and she even played it at the shoot out loud. I was grinning, she was too cute for words. Somehow her call relaxed me and minutes later I was out singing five songs of 1989 to the fans and explaining them why I had compose each one of them. Explaining Blank Space and Shake it off was easy, I didn't have much to hide but explaining the real meaning for me of Welcome To New York or Out of the Woods was more complicated without pronouncing Karlie's name. Lucky for me I had memorized what I had to say and it sounded pretty convincing. I didn't like lying to my fans, that wasn't me, but I didn't have other choice.

The truth was that everything was fine, more than fine, it was one of the best moments of my life, when did you get the Empire State to dance with your music while is dawning in New York City? It was too beautiful. Like I did the day of Shake it Off release, I invited my fans to the apartment, they deserve it. Meredith ran away to hide in my room when she saw so many people there but Olivia was always in someone's arm playing. When the last fan left my apartment it was really late and I could see in my phone that Karlie had called me several times but I didn't pick up so she wrote some text.

Karlie: I'm calling you :(

Karlie: I just wanted to say I'm proud of you and I sneaked from the shoot to see your performance :)

Karlie: You were beautiful !

Karlie: I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you babe

Karlie: Where are you? :( I miss you, I want a hug

Karlie: have you fell from the roof after the show right? Because I know you... and you're clumsy sometimes!

Karlie: I know you're alive, false alarm, I just saw a picture of you arriving at the apartment

Karlie: yes! I'm spying you :)

Karlie: And you were really stunning! 

Karlie: Okaaaaay I give up :( call me when you can, don't worry about the time, I love you babe