Story Time! - I_am_a_psychopath

The Time I Lived The #ThugLyfe

Yes, the day finally came where I committed a real life crime!

No I didn't kill anyone, gosh. Can't be bothered getting the blood stains out my clothes after.

Anyway! What did I do, you ask?

Well, here's what's happening.

My friend who I shall dub as E has passed his driving test and now has a car! And he has decided that for our lunch break he will take me and four more of us out to McD's for lunch.

One problem. There's too many people.

Five seater car? Six people?

Yeah...

So, of course, E gets to be the driver as he is the only one who can drive and it's his car.

He then asks who wants shotgun. I call it. Thank god I did....

Because in the back of the car sat out four friends squished up nice and cosy.

E had told us that if he pulls over then we all have to run in different directions because there's no way we could all be caught.

And if not then we all established a role of someone who didn't speak English, Siamese twins, someone who was mentally challenged (hi) and the driver and caretaker.

So, we were totally set if we ran into...complications.

The drive to McDonald's was short and we didn't encounter any mishaps along the way.

What we DID do however was rock out to some thug tunes! We were singing along to the infamous "THEY SEE ME ROLLIN'! THEY HATIN'!"

When we got to our destination, everyone piled out. There was a parent and child in the car next to us and the little kid looked so confused while the parent was playing candy crush.

We all rolled into the establishment, and got looks from a few of the regulars. We were not regulars. We did not live in this part of the hood.

My friend, A, takes forever staring at the menu to decide what he wants for his dinner. That apparently was a muffin, a cookie, a mcflurry and a small chips. #Healthy

I get a Happy Meal and Mcflurry and am disappointed that I didnt get the toy I wanted.

After finishing our meal, I quickly declare shotgun once more and we are heading back to the car.

There's a guy sitting right next to us. Like, right beside us.

So we get in, and he seems chill with the fact that there's six people in a small five seater car. He evens helps my friend get safely out of the awkward car park.

We're back on the road again, nodding to some tunes.

E has to make a sudden haunt just at a roundabout due to a lunatic who couldn't use their indicators or pointers or blinkers or whatever you call em.

I look to my left, and what do I see? A woman. A woman who looks appalled.

This woman looks like one of those "I want to speak to your manager" kind of ladies and I'm sitting there like 'oh shit, guys. we done'

E quickly gets round and we're off and discussing what the sentences would be if we get arrested now.

After a wrong turn and arguing with A about not doing a handbreak turn, we have arrived back at the church we had helping at and walk in like "we have sinned"

So, that's my first ever official crime (which I can remember)

I guess it's not a crime though, seeing as we didn't technically get caught.

Moral of the story?

...eh...

I liked the chill dude, he probably did these shenanigans when he was our age.

Manager woman? Nuh uh. She so uptight.

She could argue that we'd get hurt, but really, how? We'd only get hurt if our boi crashed his precious car and I highly doubt he's gonna let that happen.

The best joke we probably made was "get your damn seat belts on, guys! We don't wanna get E arrested!"

Living the thug life can be fun, but remember, when breaking the law it's only a crime if you get caught.

Stay safe, kids!