Story Time! - I_am_a_psychopath

As a child...I was dropped

As a child, I was dropped. A lot.

My family is quite clumsy so I'm actually not that surprised, but I'm still very disappointed!

My dad has confessed the many times I have been dropped, or flipped, or tripped or face planted and due to the family.

The first one he told me was when he was home in the flat watching TV and I was in my little carrier which swings back and forth on the ground.

Firstly, I wasn't strapped in.
Secondly, dad was rocking me back and forth with his food.
Thirdly, he was watching the rugby...

As he was rocking me back and forth, something dramatic happened and he pushed his foot really hard on the carrier and I went flying...and face planted it....and cried...

Dad still hasn't told my mum this so DONT GET SPREADING THE NEWS!

Another time, is I was small enough to sit on my dad's feet so that was where I was sitting when dad tried to pick me up, lifting his feet and I fell off...

I never realised until now how much damage my dad's feet do...they have caused me childhood trauma and they smell...huh...

Anyway!

Another time is when I was in England and me and my cousin were just about a year old.

Our parents had sat us side by side on the couch and we're taking a video of us, wanting us to hug each other. I've actually seen this video and we're both staring at the camera with the derp-iest looks on our faces before shaking our heads. I do end up giving him a hug, but end up falling off the couch....unfortunately the film cut just before that, but it was a kinda sudden halt...it all makes sense now~!

I have saved my absolute favourite till last...

My cousin and I are four years apart, he's about five at the time and I'm a few months old.

My mum and aunt, his mum, are upstairs sorting through something while he is seated on the stairs being trusted to hold me.

Trusted.

Ha. Ha ha! THATS FUNNY!

I just wanna say that these are straight up and down carpet stairs, and he was seated about a quarter maybe halfway up them.

I'm all bundled up and looking up at him, wondering who this strange looking creature is.

He looks down at me in his arms. And you know what he does next??

Guess!

Okay, I know this segment is me getting dropped, so you've probably guessed that and well, you're not wrong...

Instead of full on dropping me, he decides to roll me out of his arms, down his legs and down the flight on stairs.

Asshole, right?

I kid! He's done much worse to be honest....

That doesn't make him sound great, but I promise he's fab. Totally. He sometimes drives me places.

Ah well, anyway! Here is a small explanation as to why I might just be the way I am!

But that makes you feel better, huh?

At least I helped someone's self esteem.