Forbidden

Chapter eighty

Louis was sent to a hospital since he had severe damages, one being the arteria on his right arm. He's being operated but Harry assured us he will get better. I wasn't sure about that, the arteria runs to his heart I just hope the unnerving feeling I have is not because of that. I wouldn't survive another loss.

Niall waves at me, he's sitting next to Harry. I wave back but quickly hide my bloodied hand and turn around to lay on the seat, my head tilting down then to the side, my shoulders shake from my crying while Zayn's hurt eyes always trail to me.

//

*back to now*

There's tears again running down my cheeks, endless emotional pain, my eyes burning slightly as my vision turned blurry, I bite down my lip, suppressing my sobs or any other noise...but a sniffle escapes.

She's gone. Those words trouble my mind, circle me.

Tears stream down my face as I break into sobs the more I replay the conversations Alice's and I had, the sobs so deep they rack my body.

My throat's constricting with a burning pain of memories... I can't accept it. She won't ever smile at me again, she won't talk, laugh, or even joke with me. I won't get to smell her jasmine scent. And why? Because she was so selfless and sacrificed herself for me when they would've been better without me.

"Liv," Zayn's pained voice is now beside me.

I don't flinch when he pulls me to his chest like I did every time he touched me now, my loud sobs muffled from his button up.

"Shh.. I'm here." he mumbled in my hair, squeezing my sides, my hands are wrapped around his shoulders,"I'm sorry that I wasn't there to protect you. Baby, if something would have happened to you.." he took a deep breath, he couldn't wait to explain himself, "I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you." he murmured through my whines, "It's my fault that she's gone, Liv. Not yours. It also was her decision. She knew what she was doing. Olivia, please stop blaming yourself." he kept telling me, but it does nothing to soothe me, "Please, babe, it's not-" I prevent him from talking by pressing my fingertips on his lips, he sighs heavily taking my hand in his, pecking them one by one, then pulled me closer.

I didn't want to hear it now. All I needed was his comfort.

My fist is curled into his shirt, tugging him to me until I was tucked into him, sitting on his lap, inhaling his manly scent that managed to calm me down so I wasn't sobbing, just silently weeping on his shoulder.

He picked me up bridal style, walking slowly, squeezing me to him, my nose digging his shoulder, he kissed my forehead then released me on the ground when we're in our room. I can't stand on my feet without his help.

"I'm pathetic," I murmured with a painful grimace.

He cradles my cheeks, "No, you're not." he quickly retorted, then he wiped my tears away, I look down even if he tries to hold eye contact.

I was. I always needed someone to protect me. Weak and pitiful is what I am.

Zayn scoots down, tugging on my dress, slowly pulling it up, until I'm naked in front of him, save from my panties.

The fabric of my dress toppled next to my feet, he really held his promise on undressing me, only in different circumstances. I almost cry because of this, I imagined this night to be different. I shake my head at myself.

"Liv, you have to shower. I can-"

"No," I stubbornly mutter, ignoring his hurt expression from my abrupt answer. Then I shimmied out of my knickers before I walk naked to the bathroom, leaving the door open because Zayn requested it in case I needed anything.