Forbidden

Chapter thirty-seven

Standing in the shower I think and think about everything I tried not to. And that is how I almost died..

The warm water pressure enough to soothe my damaged body, is helping me to forget too. I'm not wanting to hold onto hurt anymore either way.. So I hurriedly finish the shower and walk outside grabbing a towel. It has been a task itself to shower, when I'm just released from the hospital a couple of hours then sleeping until late after noon, my legs and now even my right hip hurts but I couldn't stand another day without showering and forced myself to pass through this.

Next thing I know is that I'm looking at myself in the mirror, pushing the towel to my feet and gape at my naked body. I shouldn't have felt tempted to see the aftermath of my tremendous fall but I just had to.. There are quite a few of bruises lining my pale skin, my upper thighs have the biggest and when I turn around I'm proven wrong. The ones on my spine look the most awful and I quickly wipe some tears. I've lost some weight too which I don't like at all, that means my immune system is overworking now and I'm more likely to faint again.

'Enough of inspecting.' I mentally state. I've had enough. These wounds will heal, I'll get better. With those positive thoughts I wear my underwear and pull some jean shorts, the bruises not showing luckily, along with a grey knit sweater on. Then get decent by putting natural make up on. I always put a few on because it makes me feel better about myself, I don't like it when people judge someone who likes to wear make up be it a ton or a little. Some are confident without it, some not. I prefer to wear at least a bit mostly but couldn't always because of the way I'm living now. I want some similarity with my previous life though.

Walking downstairs I can hear them converse in the living room and while taking slow steps and holding onto the railing of the stairs I make it safely there, but panting heavily while my lungs burn and have to sit down on the last white marble stair in which I had had that accident.

"You know you could have called for one of us." Zayn calmly told me. I close my eyes ignoring him. Of course he's here. Then I make another effort to stand up again, but my knees give out and I groan.

He approached me and helped me up. I push him away when his scent overtook me..

"Shorts?" he rasped lightly annoyed after a while, I have yet to look at him.

'Don't start a conversation with him.' I inwardly remind myself but he takes the hint and ignores it when he knows that I want to not talk with him.

"I don't want you to wear them around my men, Olivia." he huskily ordered trying to get a reaction of me. Does he have to say my name? And he's not shouting but I'm still infuriated that he is trying to control me. I know he won't change his character ever but a day after I'm out of the hospital and he's back at ordering me. Really?

"I won't change them." I slowly reply with a sharp tone and when I look at him he is gnawing on the side of his bottom lip, a soft frown on his almond eyes. He looked way better than yesterday, with that comes that he has shaved but a bit of stubble is still there which made him look younger, his once long jet black hair is trimmed on the sides and pushed up at the front still it looked voluminous, hands stuffed in his skinnies now.

"Do you want help or?" he mumbled after a while, not insisting on the clothes thing, his eyes trained on my lips now.

Nervously averting my eyes from him, I frowned not answering. Before I could say a word, which I wasn't planning to but he lingered awaiting for me, he scoffed and abruptly turned, hastily walking away.

I don't know how I feel of the way he is trading lightly..

Then I slowly walk to the living room, after ten minutes at last succeeding.