Forbidden

Chapter forty-four

Song for the chapter: Zed ft the foxes- Clarity

***

People say that the most awful way to die has to be from natural causes like the cold, the heat, along with coincidence deaths like accidents, or the one who was the most unfair. Murder.

All of the above are not pleasing but if I could choose I would like every other sane person take the one less painful.. I would say that nothing is more awful and terrifying that when your life is in the hands of someone else's. I would've preferred to die in any other way than having to struggle, at least when you're freezing you sleep and it goes quick, or in flames from an car accident, it would have been fine with me. But not like this. Who would have thought that I would be in this position yet again.. And it will be the last one.

My hands are white from the grip on his cold hands to get him to release me since he's now holding onto me for seconds.. My face heated in tears and red from the lack of oxygen, sweat trailing down the sides of my face, hair sticking on my forehead, my vision filled with black spots, face formed a painful grimace, lips parted but not a breath was flowing in, he pushes me up the wall slowly by my neck so my feet are off the ground, they thrash trying to kick him but it's a lost cause.

Soon I gave up my struggle when vagueness wins over, my arms lay limp, eyes closed accepting this. The hope I had in Zayn saving me was gone, just wanting for it to be over.. Zayn is what I find time to think about right now, and I'm glad it's his face I see while giving life.

It goes fast now as I feel life getting drained from my body.

There's a thud and I'm somewhere in between.. Like I'm not full awake but not asleep either.

Dazed I feel released all of the sudden, but something is not right.. There's a bang then, I think he has decided on ending my life with a gun too.

..

My body is shaking, I feel so weird but not like I'm free, it burns and I whimper loudly, it feels like I'm drowning.. only then feeling hands on my arms, my eyes shot open, to see.. Zayn.

I'm in a safe place with his hands holding me as I'm laying on his lap, he's sitting on the floor crouched over me. Is this real? I see him mouth something at me, maybe I can't hear him or I'm imagining this.

I open my mouth but the swelling on my throat is barely letting me take a small breath, the slow motion and blurry movements of Zayn get back to normal.

"Olivia breathe.." his voice sadly shouts and filled my ears finally, eyes set in a frown displaying concern. I gasp, my throat is what is making the burning on my lungs so unbearable."You know how to." he reminds me, "Do it." he encouraged while struggling to wind his arm on my back to hold me up since I'm slipping down every time, the other slides up massaging my chest, rubbing in circles steadily. But it's hurting me so bad, my eyes burning from tears, I'm choking on my own spit, he doesn't let me go and keeps aiding me.

"I can't.." I choke once I know this is real, "It hurts me so much.." I barely mouth because I'm taking quick breaths coughing and spluttering, it's not helping at all. If anything I feel like I will die from this."I'm s-sorry.." I whisper, my head swaying from side to side, eyes hanging low from the lack of strength left in me.

"No, fuck. Don't say that." he anxiously rasped, hazel eyes darting so they scan my face. I don't think I would want to see him like this ever again, so distressed and powerless."I know that it hurts baby, but listen to me." he whispered, grabbing my hands hurriedly so he rounds them on his neck, while wrapping his hand on my back until I'm flush to his chest, holding my head with the other hand so I face him."Breathe like I do, Liv." he mumbled."Slow.. In and out." The calm way he's handling this is admirable, it helps me be focused on his velvet voice and his instructions. But I can't stop from coughing, and choking.