Falling for a gang leader

This is life

"Fuck off Chloe" shadow said his eyes were full of rage.
"Screw you" i said clenching my jaw. He slapped me across the face.
"Ha I never loved you" he looked me straight in the eyes all I could see was hatred. I help my hand on my cheek, turned around and left. I wouldn't take it anymore i fucking hate him. I went into 'our' room and slammed the door shut. I slid down my weight leaned against the door until I hit the ground I hugged my legs and layer y head on my knees. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheek.
"Fuck" I whispered to myself and whiled away some tears.

Me and shadow were arguing for hours, I don't even remember how it started but it got bad real quick. I heard the front door to the house slam shut. Shadow left I don't know or care where he went I just wanted to forget the whole argument. How am I supposed to live with a emotionless asshole. I never thought it would be this horrible. I was so happy and now I'm emotional  and it's pissing me off. I just don't want to think anymore I just want to be normal and go home and sleep and erg. Everything and everyone is pissing me off.
I flopped on the bed and covered my face with my hand. I was miserable and I'm just realizing it now. I was happy now I'm just miserable.
I hard somewhere that sometimes holding on to someone is harder then letting them go. I think I need to go for a little at least. I didn't realize was crying until I sat up and walked down stairs. I grabbed a jacket and went out tears still streaming down my face I walked and walked until didn't even know where I was, and I didn't know where I was going. I just don't want to stay there anymore.

I walked until I sow a club, I've drank once before with Shadow awhile ago but I need to drink. I got in somehow I realized I was wearing my pj's they didn't even ask for ID maybe they thought I was in need of a drink or I was crazy... Either one works I don't really care. I went and sat down at the bar I asked for 10 shots and drank them as fast as possible.
"Hey princess slow down" some guy said as I poured it down my throat. I didn't know what I was drinking but I didn't care.
"Can't" I slurred my words not realizing how drunk I was.
"Maybe I should take you home to Shadow" the guy said looking me in the eye. I didn't recognize him maybe he's in Shadows gang? Not sure.
"How do you know-"
"Come with me" he said taking my arm and dragging me out of the bar.
"But how do you know shadow? And how do you know about me?" I managed to get the words out.
"I'm his brother" the guy looked at me smiling.

"Shadow has a brother?" I said feeling like I wanted to pass out.
"Yah" he kinda did look like Shadow he was around the same hight the facial structure was similar the only thing that was different was his eyes. His eyes were light brown. But Shadows eyes were dark green.

"Oh" I whispered feeling like an idiot for more then one reason. We kept walking I wasn't paying attention to the direction we were going in. We got to a normal sized house it looked kinda normal like any other house other then the bullet holes that went through the door and a few other places around the house. It looked like an older house, we walked in and he took me to the kitchen. It looked kinda big inside it looked like a party house there were beer cans and bottles and stuff everywhere. I feel alive like I can do anything.

"Wait why are we here? Where are we?" I asked looking at him. I felt better and really happy and energetic.
"Your drunk" he smiled
"I'm happy" I said closing my eyes and swaying a little and smiled and giggled.
"I guess I understand what Shadow sees in you" my eyes shot open

"What?"
"Shadow likes you"
"No he doesn't" I giggled a little "he told me he hates me" I giggled a little more.
I closed my eyes again trying to escape reality. Until I felt lips attach to mine it felt good I didn't want it to stop, but at the same time it felt wrong everything felt wrong. I pulled away.
"What are you doing?" I said louder the I wanted to.
"Come with me" I didn't think twice my judgment is messed up right now so I don't care.
He took me into a room it was big It looked kinda boring but-
"What's your name?" I blurted out.
"I'm harsh"
"Wow you both have intimidating names" I blurted out again without thinking.
He laughed "yah I guess" he looked at me on the eyes and walked closer to me he placed his hand on my cheek. I closed my eyes when I felt his soft worm hand on my cheek I felt shivers.
He kissed my again, no but seriously what is up with guys and them just randomly kissing you. No what's wrong with me? How can It not feel right? And why is shadows brother kissing me? This is all just so messed up. He laid me on the bed his hands rubbed up and down my back I was on top of him. He bit my lip and kissed my neck. He rolled over me so now he was on top he pulled up my shirt and kissed up and down my stomach. He started pulling down my pants I just realized what was happening and how bad this is.
"I can't" I said pulling his hand away and getting out from under him.

"What's wrong princess?" He smirked at me.
"I think I need to leave" I said walking toward the bedroom door.
"Your not leaving" he said firmly he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the bed he took me to the bed and got on top of me holding me down. He took off my shirt and started kissing and biting me. I yelled and screamed for help and Harsh just laughed and slapped my across the face, and  no one came. I tried pushing him off me but he wouldn't get off he punched me in the face and laughed at me. I could feel the blood dripping from my nose down my face. My face felt numb and swollen, I couldn't cry I wanted to but I couldn't...

He was going to pull of my pants when the door opened.
"Come on" someone said firmly
"Kinda busy" I still tried pushing him off me he grabbed my beck and I gasped for air trying to get his hand off my neck.
"It's Shadow" Harsh's face got pissed he let go and I finally for air I smiled at the thought of shadow being there.
"Ill be back princess" Harsh said kissing my lips and I moved my face as far as I could away from him. He got off of me and left the room he locked the door behind him.
I put my ear up to the door so I could hear. I heard shots and yelling and punching. It lasted a whole I felt like crying it seemed like that's all I do now but I couldn't cry. So I just sat leaning my back on the door and placing my head on my lap.

"Chloe?" I heard someone call from the hall way I still felt a little drunk.
"Chloe?" The same voice said getting closer I think it was Reece. I got to my feet and called out his name.
"Reece?" I tried opening the door so he knew what room I was in. I heard someone unlocking the door and then I sow Reece's face.
"Where is shadow?" I asked excited to see him he saved me.
"He's not here he's still not home"
"Then who saved me and, how did they know I was here?"
"I did I sow you leave and I sow Harsh and we need to go now" he said the last part firmly. We left as fast as we could by the time we got home it was around 10pm I went straight upstairs and hopped into the shower. I finished my shower and finally looked in the mirror. My face was bruised I had a black eye and I felt like I was going to throw up. Today is officially the worst day of my life. I changed into pjs and sat on the bed. I didn't want to cry but tears started rolling down my cheeks. I decided to go to bed and hopefully not see Shadow in the morning.

~4am~

I woke up from a horrible dream the memory replayed in my mind except it was worse. I went downstairs and made myself some tea. I sat down I had the biggest hangover ever. My head was pounding. I checked my phone and sow it was 4:05am then quickly turned my phone off because the light gave me a headache. I heard the front door open and a very drunk and unsteady figure come inside. "Shadow?" I said was to loud for my liking.
"What are you doing up?" He slurred his words. As he walked closer to me the stench of sex hit me it was disgusting.
"Go away" I said annoyed and turned around so he wouldn't see my face. That's a long conversation I'm not ready to have.
"Fine I'm going to bed want to join"I could tell he was smirking, but all I could do was cry.
"What's wrong?" He asked but I couldn't take him seriously he was swaying, then I realized he isn't going to remember any of it in the morning.
I turned to face him
"What happened to your face?"
"Your brother" I rolled my eyes and wiped a few tears away.
"How did you get away?"
"Reece saved me"
"I'm sorry" he said bluntly and emotionless. I got up and walked away until he grabbed my wrist and tried to hug me I just slapped him across the face.
"Fuck off Shadow"
I could tell he was pissed, he slapped me across the face to I looked in his eyes it was filled with regret and sorrow. I held my cheek, (the one he slapped)
"Fuck off shadow your just like your brother" I said storming off into 'our room' and slammed the door shut and locked it.

I'm so fucking done.