Falling for a gang leader

Is this love?

I woke up in shadows arms. It was 7am and I had to get ready for school but I didn't want to wake up snoring beauty beside me haha. So I just lied there savouring the warmth I felt in his arms until I absolutely need to get out if bed but then I realized it was Saturday and I don't need to do anything so I can stay in shadows arms forever. Or until he makes me get off him same thing not really but still. I felt so safe and I actually fell asleep last night I haven't slept in like 5 days. I was so rested but I didn't want to leave his arms so i fell back asleep.

I felt shadows arm move from under me and I could tell he was waking up but I didn't want to wake up so I stayed half asleep while still interpreting what's happening around me in a scene. Shadows arm untapped from me and he slipped out of the bed I was still sleeping but I wasn't as comfortable and worm as before. So I couldn't sleep so I just woke up when I brought myself to actually fully waking up I realized shadow wasn't in the room anymore but he did see the Advil I left him yesterday because there gone. I took a nice worm shower out in some sweatpants and did some light makeup and walked downstairs. "Are you okay?" I asked gently to shadow who was sitting on a chair in the kitchen his head was in his hands.
"Shhhh why are you yelling"
"Haha I wasn't" I said really quietly not wanting to cause him any more if a headache then he already had
"Why did you let me drink so much?"
"Uh I didn't you were the one running all over the place punching people and wait you remember last night?"
"Yah everything" he said smirking
I just shrugged "cool so anyway... What are we doing today any plans"
"I have a meeting for a few hours at 2 so no"
"Okay thank god I don't want to go anywhere I'm tired and just want to sleep"
"Haha have fun doing nothing"
"I will" I said sticking my tongue out at him like a child
"Your so immature"
"Thank you" I said smiling
"That wasn't a complement" I just shrugged.
I heard my phone go off in my pocket so I answered it
"Helllerrrrr"
"hey girl hey" a furniture voice said I assumed it was Brianna
"What's up?"
"Well I'm pregnant"
"WHAT?"
"Shut up" shadow said looking at me annoyed
"I'm just joking but want to hang today"
"Yah sure what do you want to do?"
" I don't know well figure it out"
"Haha okay byeeeee
"Byeeeeee"

"Who was that?" Shadow asked not really actually caring at all
"Brianna I'm hanging out with her later"
"Okay"
There was silence between us but it was more calming. I just sat there reading a book but I wasn't actually reading. I was thinking about me and shadow are we a thing now? Does he like me? Do I like him? Maybe I love him? But do I really know what love is? How can to love someone and not know what love is? all I know is I like him and I like being with him and I want to be with him but I don't want to ruin him with my life my secrets that he's bound to find out at one point or another. I just don't want him to see me as I see myself but I'm afraid he will or maybe he already does. It's killing me he's literally like right in front of me and I can't ask him any if this well I can but I don't want to sound like one of those girls who are annoying and... Just no. I put down my book and looked at shadow he was on him phone but then he put it down an looked at me. The he kissed me just randomly it felt the same as last night all toed emotions were coming back up I feel so amazing like nothing can hurt me when I'm with him. We heard someone walking into the kitchen and quickly parted I don't know why really I guess we aren't really a thing so it's better if no one found out? What I didn't realize was that it was 3 and shadow had to go to a meeting. One if the people in his gang came and got him and he had to go but before he left he kissed my cheek in front of the guy and then they left. I though it was adorable and I really need to know if he liked me of if I'm like 'fun to play with' or something because i think I'm catching feeling... Bad.

I got out my phone and texted Brianna she said she was. Coming over now and I told her I needed to tell her something important. I think I've always felt something for shadow but nothing that is wanted to act on until now. I think I want him... Bad and I don't know what to do how could he like me? He would never like me after he finds out my secret that no one knows. She texted me a few seconds later telling me she's here. She then just walked unto the kitchen and dat down next to me. I started laughing a little for no real reason. "What's the impotent information I need to know?"
"Well I think I like shadow like a lot"
"Aww yay can I set you to up you'd be the best couple ever!!!"
"No I can't I don't think he likes me"
"Please I see the way he looks at you and I see the way you look at him"

How do I look at him? I mean with my eyes obviously but haha.

"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean you look at him like he puts the starts in the sky"
"When did you get all poetic, was it when you started dating Brandon?" I said playing around smirking at her while she blushed and looked away
"No" she said annoyed

I laughed a little and we hung out for a while playing weird games screaming and having a lot of fun until around 8pm she had to leave. Shadow still wasn't back I was kinda worried about him it's 9pm right now but I'm sure he'll be home soon.

I got into my pajamas as I was walking slowly down the halls no paying attention to where I was going and bumped into a tall figure in the hall I looked up and locked eyes with some beautiful green eyes he looked happy and pleased. It was shadow but as soon as he realized it was me he looked ashamed.
"Hey" I said shooting him a small smile
"Hey" he said in kinda a paranoid ashamed way rubbing the back of his head and not looking me in the eye
"What's wrong with you?"
"Uh nothing"
"What did you do this time?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest pretending to be serious
"Nothing don't worry about it" he said while rushing past me and walking to our room die the hall. Suddenly Reece appeared I assume looking for shadow.
"What's his problem?"
"Don't worried about it" he said not even looking at me walking hast me and walking into my and shadows room. "Okay" I said to myself turning around and walking down the stairs to see a bunch of people I never sow in my life. I walked past them slowly as they stared at me like they knew something I didn't, we'll try do but they could at lease elaborate what's happening like gawd.

I walked to around for a while trying to avoid them and not bug shadow and trying to think about what's happening and all the scenario's of what might be happening right now and why shadows acting weird.

Scenario 1. Shadow went to so zoo... Wait why the hell would he be there scratch that. Shadow is Ina meeting with someone an he wants something the others have and like world war shadow is happening hahaha .accurate.

Scenario 2. Zombies 😏
(Not that accurate still needs to be included)

Scenario 3. Uhhhh he is being weird for no reason. And he is uhhh on his time of the month.

As I was thinking the last one I started bursting out laughing I didn't realize there was a bunch or guys around me. embarrassing much. And so I stopped and try all looked at me weirdly and I couldn't stop smiling and I had to hold in my laughter. Reece soon came into the liver room where we all were he looked mad but didn't say a word and sat down.
"What's your problem?" I asked at he looked at me emotionless as I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Nothing you should be concerned about if you want to know go ask your boyfriend" he said now not even looking at me
"Uhh boyfriend? I don't have one unless you count Netflix, YouTube or Instagram but I don't think that counts"
"Please your basically dating shadow and I know your in love with him"
"Hahaa hahahah your funny" I said in an Emotionless tone rolling my eyes at his accusations.
shadow walked in disturbing the harsh and deadly silence of the room. "Reece we can do this"
"No it not worth seriously who cares let it go"
"yah right Fuck that shit were going to fight and win"
I interrupted "what am I missing here? Why does no one tell me anything? gawd"
"Don't worry about it" they both said in sync.
"What ever I'm going to sleep" I said before walking upstairs and letting sleep take over.