The Walking Dead Imagines (Requests OPEN)

[Carl Grimes] The Consideration of Death

PROMPT:
You are pained by the loss of Carl Grimes and do something incredibly stupid. Glenn, being a brotherly figure, knocks some sense into you.

{info: this one is a little dark and was out of my comfort zone to write but as it was requested I gave it my best shot. Includes attempted suicide, so don't read if it will make you upset.}

Hands were cold and arms were heavy, you could hardly breathe because the pain hurt so much. So much.

Glenn walked beside you as the group searched for cars. he was your big brother. Well, not by birth. Glenn had found you during the beginning of the apocalypse, you'd been neighbours for ages before that too. Glenn always came around and babysat you and watched you grow up. That's why when the apocalypse came, Glenn had vowed to always take care of you.

Little did Glenn know, he could never protect you from yourself. You were a ticking time bomb and you were about to self destruct. Because the pain hurt so much. So so much.

Abandoned cars all over the place. Vehicles once driven by the alive, now haunted by the dead. The forest seemed so quiet. It'd be a perfect way to die, amongst the silence of the haunted woods and alluring trees.

But the silence could not comprehend the heavy scratching noises from the nearest car. You heard the desperate clawing from the inside of the trunk and you knew you had to get rid of it. You had to make it quiet because the silence was the only thing you had.

Creeping to the car became walking and walking became running, you needed to reach that car and fast. As you approached it, you noticed the keys, lazily jammed in the passenger side door. Such a shame, the hadn't opened it in time. You took out the keys and clicked the car opening, trotting to the trunk. You gripped it and yanked, feeling it open only slightly. The trunk door was jammed but that wouldn't stop you. You had to get in.

Tears streamed down your face as you yanked the door open, revealing a walker, thin to the bones and too weak to move. The sight of the walker was enough to make you dry heave, vomit if their was anything left in there to start.

You couldn't kill a beast you envied. A beast that had been robbed of it's empathy and pain. You admired its pain resistance. You envied it. You believed that in one bite- all the pain would finally go away.

The pain of losing Carl, the boy who you had truly loved. The boy who made you want to breath. But now every breath killed you. Pierced your heart. Heart ache would be the death of you. Carl Grimes death would be the death of you. He was someone you loved more than yourself and a world without him wasn't a world worth living, especially when all you felt was pain.

It took a lot of consideration to convince yourself not to do this. Your legs took charge and averted from the walker, slamming the door shut on the walker without ease. You continued up the path to the group, Glenn meeting you halfway.

"Hey." he whispered. Dried tears absorbed into his face. Scream lines so visibly painful.

But all you could hear was that scraping, louder than an atomic bomb. Carving into your mind.

"Stop it!" you cry out, making Glenn grip your arm, worried. "SHUT UP!"

But the noises crept into your head and wired into your mind. You sprinted back to the trunk. Failing under the pressure. Glenn followed you to the trunk, a very worried look on his face.

"Y/N!" he shouted, watching you tug and tug at the trunk door that just wouldn't seem to open again.

Glenn took charge, helping you with the trunk door, pushing you back as soon as he viewed the walker. He took out his knife, stepping forward.

"No-" you whispered, gently taking it from his hand and creeping towards the walker.

"I'll do it."

You stared at the walker. craving the way it felt no pain. Craving the death that seemed so sweet at the tip of your tongue.

So you inch your arm closer to its jaw, smelling the sweet victory ahead. Watching it yap and yap and yap. Just centimetres from your wrist.

"Y/N! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Glenn yells, allerting the whole group. He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you away. Daryl sprinted to the scene, everyone watching the broken girl beg for her death.
"I WANT TO DIE!" you shout, tears pouring out of your eyes.

"ANY WORLD WITHOUT CARL IS A WORLD NOT WORTH LIVING."

Dear readers,
This imagine, like I said, was odd for me to write. I want you all to know that if you lose someone, the way this imagine ends should not be your ending. You've got to be strong- despite how hard it is to do so and how easy it is to say it. Death is not the key to getting over death. I am always here to talk to- someone loves you. I love you- so you'll be alright.