"Gone, fuck that nigga, get it over with." - Future
ANT
Jessica and I are sitting outside by the pool in the back of our mansion. It's going on four in the morning. We took Noble to the hospital. They checked for infections, restitched his chest, then prescribed him some pain medicine. They recommended therapy for him and that's what me and Jessica are talking about now.
Noble and Majesty are in the house sleep and I'm watching both of them on the outdoor movie screen now to make sure they don't do anything crazy or leave.
"I know he always says he doesn't wanna go back to therapy but he needs it, Ant." Jessica says. "I know." I say, sighing. "I know he got issues but I don't want him to go through life being labeled as crazy like me. Every single time I do something, a lot of people pity me and blame it on my diagnosis. I could go steal a car because that's what I had a desire to do, but it'll still be people feeling sorry for me because of my mental issues." I say.
She sighs. "Like... I hate when folks feel sorry for me. I do whatever the fuck I want. Sometimes, I go crazy, but I do certain things cause I want to, not cause I want pity. I don't want Noble to have to go through life like that." I say. "I know, but help is what he needs, Ant. He's unstable and suicidal, he has a temper problem, and his dependent personality disorder is getting strange and you know it. I don't want him to always have these problems. Not as bad, at least. He got mad one day when I took him to school cause he wanted me to text him but I was busy." she says.
"I know, Jessica. What we gone do?" I ask. She wipes her eyes. "Find some of the best therapists in California, sit down with them, and figure out who'll be best for him. I don't want nobody who'll judge him and treat him like he crazy cause I will act an ass over my baby, Ant, you know that." she says.
"Why you always trying to fight somebody?" I ask. She ignores my question. "Ant, why did you cheat?" she calmly asks. "I told you already." I answer. She sighs. "I'm sorry for making you feel like you weren't good enough because honestly, you were a good dad and husband but it's just the little things you'd say and do that were pushing me away. Certain things made me unhappy and I'd just be annoyed by you." she admits.
"Like what?" I ask. "You always talk crazy to our kids and that pisses me off so bad. Noble doesn't cry over much. He's been holding everything in until now. Sometimes while you were out late, he'd lay on me holding his tears in and express how much that stuff you'd say would bother him. I can't even express how many times Reign, Majesty, and Jesse have cried on me about the shit you'd say. The only ones who have no clue about what you'd do is Amari, LaLa, and Tae cause he's with Montana most of the times. Yeah, they're our kids, but that don't give you the right to disrespect them. They deserve respect too." she says.
"How come you just now saying this? Why they never tell me?" I ask. "Because the disrespect pushed everybody away. Nobody really deals with you but LaLa and Amari and Tae when he's here. Like I said, they have no clue about what's going on because they're so young and innocent." she answers.
I sigh. "Mane... let's be real. Right here, right now." I say. "About?" she asks. "Me and you. You really finna divorce me and get back with Montana? What is it about him that's so special? Why you always compare me to him? That's another thing, I fuckin' hate when you do that." I admit.
"Okay and I apologize for that. But right now, I don't know what to do. Lord knows I wanna say forget it but part of me can't. You can be an asshole and you do have your days when you make me feel like I'm your queen and others where I feel like shit but I'm still in love with you. I've been knowing you since I was a teenager and we've been married for what will officially be nine years in a couple of weeks on our anniversary, so it's not like I can lie like I don't love you. I wanna divorce you but I don't wanna hurt the kids more than they already are. I don't want a divorce to throw Noble over the edge again." she says, wiping her eyes.
