I Won't Mind - Ziam (major editing)

Chapter 25

I'm walking around in my new house, thinking what else I can put to fill the empty space. I keep moving things from a place to place like I'm not sure how to decorate this house. I finally give up and just throw myself on a big sofa in the middle of the room.

It feels so good to finally breathe again. I've been picking up my pieces this whole time and I just learnt so many new things after. Maybe I should have left earlier, so I can enjoy my life sooner too. But that doesn't matter because, I'm glad that I can do things by my ownself. Which I'm so proud to announce.

Though I'm feeling so free at the moment, it doesn't mean that myself is fine. My feelings are sometimes still unstable. I easily get moody and even stop talking whenever I feel weird being all alone again.

It's just that there's still a space in my heart cannot be filled, except by someone.

I still remember how was it being around Liam, though it's been a very long time since the last I met him. He would always keep me safe and comfortable, no matter when or where. He knows every single thing about me, more than myself know it. It felt so lovely to having him like that. I just want to pause and rewind the time if I could.

I'm sighing softly, humming to the song I'm listening to. I stretch my body again and again until I feel so boneless. Best feeling ever whenever you get frustrated.

It's only a few days until Liam's birthday, and my family is on their way to visit me. It would be pretty amazing to have a party together to celebrate his birthday. I'm actually wishing to be the only non-Payne who's coming to his birthday party, just like he did when my family surprised me with a party. But I would love to take my sisters with me also, if only he's planning to invite me.

I just really want to meet him again because I miss him so damn much. I want to celebrate his day too. I want to be there dancing and singing along to his favorite song. I want him to slice the cake and give the first one to me. And I want to give him a birthday gift.

If only we're both having a free time like I do, maybe we could just do almost every thing we wanted to do whenever we want.

Actually me and Liam are only miles away, but he's still on the tour so we can't just meet like that. If he has time, then maybe I would pay a ticket for a flight to wherever he is.

But, I need to get with the flow. Accept wherever it leads.

All I want right now is to be happy. I need to enjoy my life for once again. I have to convince myself that I can be happy with or without somebody to love so I don't need to feeling low again. Though I know it isn't that easy.