I Won't Mind - Ziam (major editing)

Chapter 7

I'm betrayed.

Why does everyone is attacking me? I'm just defending myself, at this point, I'm trying to speak up for myself. It hurts me to see people acting up like this towards me. I thought they're rooting for me? Or so I thought.

I can't even make a little mistake. They will always throwing shits at me. But when it comes to my guys, they will always defend them. I can't even call them fair. So many fake people in this world and I'm upset with that.

Maybe this is my fault to brought it up on twitter. But what would you do if you were me? Like if you can hold yourself. All this time, I'm trying to remind myself to never do people bad. To always hold myself whenever anger is boiling up in me. But what people did to me, was never as good as I thougt it would be. I will always be the one to blame, no matter what.

I've been crying like it has been days, in fact it's only a few hours. This feels so wrong. Nobody wants me to defend myself. I have no back ups anymore. Well, actually I don't care if I have back ups or not. It is just hurt me to see people come and go so easily, to see people leave because they can't accept the way you are.

***

Nights after, I ask Jawaad to go out with me. We get into my car and ask my driver to driving around the town. After a few minutes driving, I see a group of girls walking down the street and I tell my driver to stop by. I come out of my car, smiling. "So do you guys want photos?"

They are all speechless at first but then they are like thank you's and take some pictures with me. One of them give me their twitter usernames and ask me to follow them and I say, "okay I got you".

The other girl ask me nicely, "are you alright?"

And my heart warms up at the spot. I can't believe there is still someone, or maybe some people who cares about me. "Yeah I'm good"

She asks me if they could post the pictures or stuff, and I reply "do what you want to do with them, babe"

The other asks me for another picture, "Zayn can we move cause the lighting is bad and we're black?"

So we are walking to find a place where there was light and as we are walking I say, "yeah we're black," they are all full out laughing.

One of them asks for a funny face and I say yeah, and so they are all like "What? That's not fair we wanted that too." And I can't help myself but laugh at how cute and lovely they are.

While they're taking turns to take some pictures with me, we have a small conversation. Making me laugh and feel secure around them. And when they're all finished they are like,

"Thank you"

"We love you"

"Have a good night"

"You will always have fans"

And it makes my heart calms at the last sentence. It is enough to make me believe there are still some people in my side. Who believes in me. I may be betrayed a nights ago, but I feel privileged with what happens just right now. I feel so grateful for what have I got.

They switch to Jawaad, "hey, Jawaad! We see you at the back, fam! We love you too!"

"Yes, Jawaad! We haven't forgotten about you, mate!"

At this stage, both me and Jawaad are smiling. We get back into my car and drive off. As we drive off, they are shouting compliments so I tell my driver to drive so slowly so I could hear them all. They are really nice to me and it makes me feel warm.

"Some people would like to always stick with you, Z" Jawaad says.

I look at him and smiling, "yeah.."

"Be proud and thankful of them," he adds.

"I will, thank you"

"Thanks to yourself"

And we're both laughing, driving through the night that seems getting darker but brighter with my happy heart. I know, there will be always a light at the end of the path. All we gotta do is only to stay together within ourself and believe in what we believe. And of course, never forget to be thankful of everything we have gotten.