I Won't Mind - Ziam (major editing)

Chapter 21

"Zayn Malik dropped 1D,

Zayn Malik dropped Naughty Boy,

Zayn Malik dropped Modest,

Zayn Malik dropped his fianc-"

I groan when I read all those words over and over again. When will people stop talking trash because I'm so done with being myself, always the one to blame.

I have never even engaged, that's all just a stunt. I was forced and stupid people always believe everything about me so easily.

"Zayn is the bad guy,

He doesn't need to drop everything like that,

Zayn always ruins everything, Perrie is the victim.

Zayn has never treated her right."

Oh. Alright. That's actually because we were nothing in fact, maybe I wasn't a good actor. But everyone is making me as the traitor here so, yeah. I can't wait until people call me as a terrorist again. Even make me cry on the stage again later. Wow. I think I'm 'excited'.

#MixersAreHereForPerrie.

Yeah, do whatever you want to do with the tags. Make it looks like I hurt everybody. Just remember you will never know what's behind these closed doors. There'll be always me standing behind the doors getting abused verbally. And nobody notices. How funny life is.

Stupid people even believe with Perrie's tweets, saying that she's doing good and stuff. Well, she doesn't own a Twitter account and whoever runs that account only seeking an attention. We even decided to call off the stunt around two weeks ago. Not today.

Right now I only need something- someone, to make me feel better. Liam. But we were even argued on the last call. It seems like it would be the worst idea ever if I phone him again now. It would be seriously awkward.

But then I see an article saying Liam just wrote a song together with Sophia. Jealously rushing over me. I thought Liam just confessed that he wrote songs with me which is true? I was the one who wrote songs together with him, Liam Payne. Why can't everyone just talk about it? I won't even mind if someone leaks the song. That could make this day a golden for me and him, then we can easily come out slowly but surely. Just like what was he always wanted.

Coming out.

We were so close to that sentence, but why did he turn it all around now? Now people are again assuming how real 'Liam and Sophia' is. I don't even understand anymore with what's happening lately because I do what he has told me to. I'm helping us to get free slowly.

But instead, he turns it upside down now. I can't blame him for that because he's still under that shitest management ever. Full of shíts and dramas. Most of it isn't even accurate.

I even heard Louis is going to be a dad. Shake my head.

I'm staring at my phone screen for about fifteen minutes, just scrolling my timeline up and down but never read everything on it properly because I'm out of my mind right now.

I finally dare myself to send a text message to Liam. I'm only curious with 'will he reply me' stuff. I type the alphabet one by one, even getting impatient with my own self but I just don't want to be too reckless at the time. So I'm typing painfully so slow.

To: Liam
Hi x

I hit send button. My heartbeat goes wild. I'm sweating. I swear to God, this feels like I'm a teenage girl finally getting my crush's number. When there's a new notification coming from text message, I even want to scream.

From: Liam
hey

This time I'm typing my reply faster than a running cheetah,

To: Liam
Hv you checked Twitter ?

From: Liam
you finally "broke up".

Now I don't have any patience more. Is he still mad at me or something? Why is he so cold to me and he's even acting sarcastic to me. Ugh. My temper is just approaching me.

To: Liam
WTF U FUCJER ??! YOU JUST WROTE A SONG WITH SOFA ,,!!!

From: Liam
take care w/ the caps lock Z, it can hurts ur thumbs.

And with that, I just throw my phone to the-thankfully-bed. He's definitely playing fire and water with me. I know he wants to get me jealous so I can let us just come out so soon. But that's stupid! I seriously believe we should take it slow before we can regret anything.

But Liam, in the other hand is having his own way. And I can't even tell how stubborn is he whenever he thinks he's right. Now it seems like I have to build my patience thicker than ever.

I can't wait until the time we're finally free from everything and anything. I want to live my life in future already. I want to wake up next to him every morning and have hot sessions with him every night before.

Alright, you may say I'm sexually frustrated that's why I'm listening to High For This by The Weeknd right now. It's been a long time since my last sex with him. But I swear I have never touched myself whenever I'm alone, because he would get angry if I do it.

Whoopsie daisy. Imagining him getting angry makes me even more frustrated. It turns me on real quick. Now I have to shut my fantasy down and imagine about Shahid blowing a kiss at me.

Okay. Gross enough.. It works a lot better than anything. I need to thank Shahid later, I guess.

I let out a sigh once I remember about Liam again. When will we can hugging romanticly in public? Or even kiss in public? I really want to be in a relationship with him. Not like this.

I want him to carry me all the way around again. I want him to hug me from behind tightly again. I want him to kiss-whisper me on my neck again. All those sweet memories we shared when we were on the stage are the only thing I miss about being in the band. And the most important is, I meet him everyday a week. Not in a long distance like this with him moving from country to country almost everyday.

Thinking about him makes me feel sick. I'm willing to see him right now, right here. So I finally text him again, because it won't be finished if none of us start to figure out first.

To: Liam
I don't care with who u writing songs but I'm here trying 2 get us free x

From: Liam
good luck.