I Won't Mind - Ziam (major editing)

Chapter 13

Zayn's POV

I'm curling myself up in a ball. The tour was started again, but seeing Liam was sad and faking a smile on the stage is causing a heart break to me. I've been trying to dial him but he didn't pick up. I guess he has talked with the management about it. It's been weeks since though. All I want right now is Liam to text me back.

I have seen some videos of him singing on the stage, singing my parts. He was looking so lost, like he doesn't know what to do right there. Niall comforts him, glad he did. I wish I was there and I wish I was the one who comforts him. But I can only watch him by far.

I wonder what did he say to them people. I wonder what was their reactions. I just want to hear how Liam spilling it all out. Was he nervous about it? Or was he just confident telling them about the truth? Was my name involved? Or was he just straightfoward, told them 'I'm gay and I want to come out'? I may never know, at least until he contacts me back. And I don't know when will it happen.

But right now, I'm watching my four best guys performing in Brussels. Far enough from where I am now, but I heard Liam was back in UK.

The fandom is really quick, there are already videos of them performing uploaded on YouTube which I'm so glad. And as it goes, they did so well. But then something hit my sense of hearing. I replay the scene, and keep replaying. First, I wasn't sure of what did just I hear but,

at 3:44, I heard Liam saying.

'All I need is Zayn'.

My heart suddenly goes wild, it's beating rapidly. I wasn't wrong that time when I said he was brave. Because he really was, and probably the bravest person I have ever met. He doesn't even care when people talking about what it seems like affections between me and him. He doesn't care about his own reputation. All that he wants is to being free doing things he wants to do; to be with me.

After chilling with myself alone in my room, there are knocks coming from my front door downstairs, so I manage to get myself up and jogging dowstairs, opening the door.

To my surprise, it's Liam who was standing in front of me. His existence will always sending torture to my heart. I'm turning speechless because, to be honest, I don't know what to say with him being here. So I just move myself to the side, giving him a way to step in.

"You were missing in action." He starts.

"I'm not," he wraps his big arms around me, so suddenly. Making my heart just wants to jump out of my chest. his arms are tighten around me, it feels like I'm just gonna crash in any seconds. "Let me stay the night?" He murmurs.

"Yeah, sure" I hug him back, rubbing slowly at his back.

Minutes later, I find myself cuddling into Liam's chest. In bed. He had his arms been wrapped around my slender body. Liam definitely knows how to make me feel safe, that's why I like him being around.

He lifts my chin up, leaning closer to my face. It's when my heart hits its highest beat. I put both of my palms flat on his chest, trying to stop him. But instead, the next second is his lips landing on mine, crashing me down.

Liam Payne kissing me.

And I'm just melt into the kiss, moving my mouth with him in sync, slow movements. This is the sweetest kiss I have ever had. With him, the love of my life.

He pulls back only to stare at me, which I'm upset a little but glad he did because I'm really out of breath. He cups my face in his hands, stroking my cheeks so gently.

"That was," I breathe out.

"I meant it," he pecks my lips once again, but quickly pulling back. "I meant the kiss, Zayn."

My cheeks are heaten up. I close my eyes for a seconds, trying to understand all the things that just happened. "Liam," I open my eyes to meet his brown ones staring back at me.

"Be mine, Zayn."

I'm swallowing a hard, thick gulp. "I can't," I state out. He frowns, his expression softened. "Why?"

I take a deep breath before answering, "because you can't be mine either."

He sits up, watching me carefully. "I've told them that I want to come out, Zayn. I told them that I'm in love with you." He takes my hand in his, pulling me up slowly to sit up at his level. "You told them about me?" He nods.

"I told everything." He rubs my knuckles slowly, in a small circle. And there's a silent following after.

"What did they say?" I finally say, breaking the silence. He shrugs his shoulders, laying down then bringing me with him. I let out a huff from the weight he puts on me. "I just really want to quit the band." He sighs. I frown, playing with his shirt button. "You can't do that."

"But you did, anyway."

I sigh, moving my body on top of him with his hands holding my each side. "I don't want to break anything," I say, tracing his stubble with the tip of my fingers. "I don't want to be the reason for anything bad."

"You won't." He squeezes my hips slowly. I rest my head on his chest, sighing once again. "You don't know what will people think of me if you leave the band, Liam. They will assume that you follow my way."

He strokes my hair, giving me a chance to purr to his chest. "I will tell them,"

"Once people hate you, they will hate you forever. It's the difference between hate and disappointed."

"Then what should I do to be with you? To be yours and to be together?"

I take a breath, a deep ones. "You will never be mine."

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sorry for not updating in such a long time! was busy but it's finally holiday for me! will try to update as soon as fudge :)

by the way,
yesterday was my birthday
feelin' old aha x

**where are my active readers? :(