A Shinobi's Take on this Wonderful World

Take Thy Foot, My Dear Adventurers

Mother? Father? How are you doing? I'm doing well here in this new world... Is what I would like to say, but unfortunately your son is neck-deep in debt because of a couple problem children he found myself acquainted with.

First, I made the mistake of bringing a bratty goddess with me to this world instead of a cheat item or god-like power that I could have used to live a trouble-free life. She's a lazy, loudmouthed, attention whore whose only strong points is healing magic and party tricks. On top of that, she is always complaining about having to work even though all of the debt we've collected is all her fault!

Then I recruited a little girl from a renowned clan of mages. This clan is apparently known for their naturally high intelligence stat and vast mana reserves. My ass! This mage is only able to use one spell, and despite its incredible firepower, it's completely useless most of the time! After one shot, she goes limp from mana exhaustion and doesn't even have the energy to stand! But even after I confronted her about this, the little brat refuses to learn any other spells! So much for having high intelligence and mana reserves!

The last member of my party is a female knight. She's just like those cool beauties I used to read about in manga... But don't let that fool you! Underneath that beautiful skin is a complete, and hopeless pervert! She keeps going on about protecting her party members and fellow adventurers, but all she wants to do is feel the pleasure of taking all the hits! The cool beauty I could have had to keep me sane, and I get a masochist! What a waste. I could have looked passed her weird personality, she's a beauty after all. But this fool can't swing a sword to save her life!

But even though I say all of this, it's not like I can just abandon them... It was my fault for choosing to bring the goddess with me. She doesn't have any offensive power and can't go back home to heaven until I defeat the Demon King. The mage likely wouldn't be able to find another party to take her, and her Explosion magic is quite reliable when strong enemies appear. As for the female knight... She is a beauty, so having her around isn't all that bad. Especially when I go out of my way to bump into her in the hallway after she showers. Complete coincidence.

Oh, I guess there's one more person I should mention. A kouhai of mine, a guy that claims to have been a ninja in his past life. But he's got blonde hair, blue eyes, and has a mouth that's almost as big as the goddesses. On top of that, he loves to wear bright oranges clothes. What kind of ninja wears orange? This guy obviously came from our world, but maybe he lived in a foreign country. America perhaps? But this guy has proved to be one of the only people I could consider sane in this fantasy world, if not a little shonen-like. Unlike me, he chose to bring a cheat power to this world. Despite this, he still chooses to live in the Town of Beginners and helps an unfortunate shopkeeper I know. I also heard he helps the pretty receptionist Onee-Chan at the guild by taking on durian quests when the other adventurers are being lazy. He seems like a nice guy, but he often picks fights with my party members. He pulls a few pranks on them every now and then. Especially the goddess.

That guy recently formed a party of his own, bless his soul... A delinquent adventurer who would rather spend a night in a cell than pay for dinner, a cute mage that actually knows how to use magic but has no social skills to speak of, and a priestess from a cult that follows a religion that the goddess in my party is worshiped as its figurehead.

I'd trade parties without hesitation, if only for the mage. But like I said, I can't just abandon those problem children of mine. That, and I don't think the self-proclaimed ninja would be able to handle those three by himself... I've become quite the responsible man, haven't I?

Well, it's time for me to set off on my next adventure. The shinobi promised to help my party settle our debts, so we might just be saved yet. Take care, my beloved parents.