𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐲

t.chul

cw. mention of mental health issues, suicide, and sh.

FULL NAME. chul soobin.
OTHER NAMES. teddy chul. (this serves as both his english name from when he used to live in the united states, as well as his stage name from when he was an idol).

BIRTHDATE. december 6th, 1998.
AGE. twenty-seven.
GENDER. male.

HOMETOWN. daegu, south korea.
CURRENT RESIDENCE. los angeles, the united states of america.

SLOT. she's all that.

FORMER OCCUPATION. the main dancer and main vocalist, along with maknae and visual of FOREVER YOUNG.

FACECLAIM. taemin.
SCARRING. he has quite a bit of self-inflicted scarring on his forearms from the days after and around his debut. he struggled with self-harm for years afterwards, leaving an array of small, raised, horizontal cuts along his arms and upper thighs.

PERSONALITY. soobin is a thoughtful person. he gives a hundred percent into everything he does— even his dance instructing job, which he admits, is difficult and not his favorite. he's passionate. he just doesn't know any other way to be. he can seem obsessive, and maybe he is, especially about his art and his image and his work. he cares about the work he does and how he appears around others. he is a sweet person at his core, friendly and funny, although he's afraid to put himself out there too much. when he streams, he makes funny quips, often at his own expense. he can be honest, almost brutally so, especially about his experiences with the idol industry, although sometimes he gets a bit shy about talking on that matter outside of his streaming channel. he has a struggle between being honest always and between trying to maintain a sense of dignity about some of the struggles he's faced in the past. it's hard. he doesn't want to share as much as he does or feels like he should.
soobin can come across as self-centered, although he tries not to. the fact of the matter is that he does struggle quite a bit and has struggled in the past— with his mental health, with his identity as an idol, with his money... and he feels like he's in a perpetual state of crisis and can never really fully focus on being as giving to others as he wants to be. he still values success, even if he's thrown it all away, to a degree, whether it be success as a good person or financial and fame levels of success. he's a nervous person. he doesn't know if he's doing all that he should be doing or if he's doing the wrong things. he worries himself sick over it sometimes. he gnaws at his knuckles as a nervous habit and bites his nails, although he's tried to redirect those anxieties into more constructive actions.
he can be described as immature, as he was dragged into the idol industry from such a young age, when he was still impressionable. he comes across as immature since he's been experiencing things like having to pay bills on his own for the first time and since he still has some petty and shallow concerns as holdovers from being in the industry. he is humble in that he sincerely believes he isn't better than anyone. but sometimes people see ego in that he seems to call for the spotlight. but it isn't for that reason— he merely feels that's the only place he can turn to. it was the only place that welcomed him, even if he's grappled with the experience of it and the effects on his mental health ever since.
soobin can be rather up and down, due to his depression, anxiety, and ocd. his ocd makes him ruminate on the past often. was he right or wrong on that one thing he did three years ago? he can agonize over it to an unhealthy degree. his anxiety contributes to that and also puts pressure on himself. he struggles not to hold himself to such a high standard, as he's struggled with panic attacks before performances and appearances due to such high stakes on everything. his depression really affects him intermittently, although it is currently well-managed, but his depressive episodes when unmedicated used to be severe, leaving him in hopeless spirals. while he is immature in the ways of the world, he has matured greatly in learning to manage and take responsibility for his own mental health, while setting boundaries that help him maintain it. his therapist thinks going on this show will be a step back for him. pursuing the same fame that got him here. part of him agrees. he's scared.