Muted // Felix-centric

Chapter 48

A Moment of freedom

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

The moment I opened my eyes I immediately realized something was wrong. I found myself in an empty room surrounded by an impenetrable darkness. My body seemed weightless, as if I were floating without having any solid ground under my feet. But at the same time I felt an eerie emptiness, as if a part of me was no longer there. My mind was numb, as if it were caught in an endless fog. I tried to understand where I was and how I got here, but my mind was frozen, unable to think clearly. A deep emptiness and loss spread within me and I felt as if I was sinking into a bottomless abyss.

The darkness around me seemed to crush me and I could see no light, no way out of this desolate emptiness. I felt as if time stood still, as if I was trapped in an endless moment of silence and solitude. Still, I felt a strange calm coming from somewhere deep within me. It was as if an invisible hand was gently holding me, keeping me from falling into the darkness. A breath of serenity enveloped me and I slowly drifted into the infinite emptiness, unafraid of what might come.

As I begin to feel at home in the darkness, I feel an invisible force tugging at me. Something doesn't want me to fall further into the hole. something is holding me back. "Felix..." a gentle one speaks to me. I know that voice, but I feel like I've forgotten its name. Everything just slipped my mind... Who am I? Where am I? How did I end up here? Who was I? Have I always been alone? I feel like I was just born. Like I've always been a part of this darkness. "...if you hear me, please come back to us...", but this voice seems to know me. They sound so familiar. Like an old companion I know. Who knows me. But who is it? "... we need you. You've been in a coma for four days now..." the voice continues and that surprises me a bit.

I've been here for four days... But I can only remember today. Who was I? "The doctors think the drug has damaged you too much. They say you probably won't make it... They advised us to prepare for the worst..." the gentle voice explains further. A drug? I don't know anything about a drug. Who are you? "...but I know that you are stronger. You have made it this far. Please don't give up yet..." the voice begs me. Until here? What does this mean? What happened to me? I can't remember... it's too frustrating. "I know we haven't been the best support in the last few days. Miyeon explained everything to us... The pictures... we now know what you did... and we should have been there for you. But instead we... I was jealous and hurt. I'm sorry," the voice apologizes. But I don't know any Miyeon... I don't know about any pictures... Why would the person have been jealous? What happened? "Please wake up...Felix."

Suddenly a sharp pain pierces me. My chest tightens and my limbs become very weak... Felix... that's my name. I know it again now... and that voice... that's Chan.... Bang Chan.... my ex... my savior... But why does he speak to me like that. He should be angry with me. Why isn't he angry with me? Be angry again... that would make everything so much easier for me. I just want to sleep and never wake up again. The world outside doesn't hold anything for me anymore. My mother... My father... Jinyoung... Wooyoung... Hangyeol. Please... just go. Go and let me die. Please just let me go in peace. Let me forget... you should do the same. It would make everything so much easier.

"Your sisters... Rachel and Olivia... they need their big brother... your mother, Miyeon... she needs her son, even though she may not deserve it... we... we need you, Even though we don't deserve you... Wooyoung... he was here too... he wants to talk to you..." Chan says. The latter name makes my heart clench again... Wooyoung. Does he even deserve to see me again? Hangyeol lied to him, but Wooyoung could have talked to me... Same with Jinyoung... and Chan... Jisung... Minho... Hyunjin... Seungmin... Jeongin. .. and Changbin... They all could have talked to me... they should have trusted me. Why did they all turn their backs on me? Was I the problem from the start? Can I be trusted so little? Just disappear ... please. I can't bear the thoughts any longer... I just want to be free.

꧁꧂

Felix's eyes open, but against his will. He just wants to sleep. "N-No... n-don't," he begs to no one. He just wants to go back to the darkness. "P-Please..." he begs to no one, tears streaming down his cheeks. Chan immediately jumps up from his seat when he hears Felix's quiet words. "Hey... shhh everything's going to be okay. I'm here," he says, hoping it will calm Felix down, but that only brings Felix to more tears. "Please..." he begs Chan. Chan holds Felix's hand tightly. "I'm here... I won't leave again... I promise," says Chan, but Felix doesn't want to hear that. "P-Please... go... Let me go..." he begs Chan through tears. This makes Chan immediately stop his movements. He would have thought that Felix would either yell at him or be happy, but this... This just hurts. It almost sounds like Felix is ​​begging to be allowed to die. "I-I can't take it anymore..." Felix says quietly and then falls back into the deep silence.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

He woke up again...

But he doesn't seem very happy about it...

Hope you liked it!

~chichi