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The air seemed to go colder than it originally was, my skin reacting to it with violent goosebumps. It was as if time had stopped and now it was just me and Anna that matter, it has always been but this time the world around them disappeared and we became each other's world.
Anna stares at my blue eyes, tears falling down out of her own different colored ones as she starts crying. She doesn't try to hide, instead her eyes stay on mine as she starts wailing right in front of me, her mouth opening and letting some whimpers get out into the thin air.
I get closer and I hug her tightly, not being able to bear the physical pain it brings me to see her cry right in front of me, knowing damn well that I am the reason behind those tears even if it was the last thing that I wanted to happen.
"I'm sorry" I whisper, my throat sore due to everything that happened.
Apologising is the only thing that I can do in the moment, I don't know what she wants to hear and Akira didn't want to help me when it came to figuring out what I should say. She just told me that I would figure it out in the moment.
Now that we are here, I blocked and have no idea what I should say...
I want to tell her everything, what happened and why I was gone for so long, how I managed to not die, and everything that happened afterwards. But right now I am not able to do it.
Everything I can do now is hold her tightly in my arms and stay here as she cries.
For some reason, I thought that she wouldn't be in such a bad state when I saw her again, but honestly, the only thing I wanted to do these last times was think about seeing her again, I only didn't come earlier because Akira didn't let me.
I quickly examine her with my eyes, without changing the strength of the way I am holding her. Her body looks thinner and her skin more pale than normal as if she hasn't been in contact with sunlight for a long time, longer than anyone should.
"Anna," I whisper after a couple of minutes, her cries are now a little more quiet but the strength she is using to grab my sweatshirt shows that she is still not okay. I pull her to my lap, leaving us chest to chest as her legs wrap around me behind my back, then I grab her chin softly and pull her face up so that she is finally making eye contact with me.
Her eyes are bloodshot and there are still tears falling down as she looks at me. She lost a lot of weight to the point where it is noticeable in her facial features.
Before even daring to say anything, I kiss her forehead, feeling as if she needs this physical contact right now. She's always been quite touchy and I don't have any complaints to do about that, now I am only giving back all of the assurance that her touch has brought me.
"It's okay now," I whisper hoping that it would make her stop grieving about something that didn't happen.
I caress her hair with my hand as she smiles softly, her lips only twitched a little bit upwards but it was enough for me to notice.
It feels weird to finally have someone who worries so much about my well-being, to the point where she even neglected herself because she was sad...
A lot of unknown feelings are now running through my body, a mix of furry and sadness are the ones who stand out the most. I am mad that she stopped taking care of herself just because she thought I was dead, I am mad at the thought that if I was really gone she would end up killing herself too even if it wasn't her intention originally.
But I am also sad that she had to go through all of this just because of me, I suffered when I was out there but I feel as if she suffered a lot more while she was there. Even though she had Akira and Yoru's help, just by the looks of it, it seems like they weren't able to do much.
Anna is quite stubborn so I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't even listen to the girls when they tried to help her out.
"I love you." She suddenly whispers, her voice weak and she sounds tired but my ears feel blessed just from hearing her talk after so long, but even better my soul feels divine due to the words that just left her lips.
My heart starts beating faster and I am sure she can hear it since she laid her head on my chest right before saying those three words.
These three words that I have always ached to hear but unfortunately had never been said to me until now. There is not one moment in my life where anyone had ever said that they loved me, not even my damn parents, or if they did I just decided to forget it after all that they have done to me.
"I love you more." I admit without much thinking, I should have said it before and I regretted not saying it earlier each day I wasn't near her.
Even though I wanted to be the first to say it to her, I do feel proud to know that my girl is brave enough to say such powerful words first. She used to be so shy and didn't say anything about how she felt but look at how that has changed now.
I haven't smiled in a long while but despite the now unfamiliar feeling, I smile at her.
"I love you so much." I look down at her lips, genuine happiness running through my body, mind, and heart. My hand makes its way to her cheek and I caress it softly as she looks into my eyes.
She smiles back at me, her eyes still red with tears streaming down them, her bottom lip is still shaking but she seems a little happier than she was when I found her sitting here. She didn't even look behind as I was coming, not caring if it was a wild animal that could hurt her or a weird man that could be walking around.
Shaking those thoughts away, I focus on the moment right now. Deciding to give her a lecture about protecting herself better later on when everything was a little calmer.
I missed her eyes so much, I missed this girl so much. Her whole existence is my reason for living, slowly but surely she has become everything that I think about and I am somewhat thrilled to tell her everything I think about her, how she makes me feel, and what goes in my mind when I think of us in the future.
She laid her head on my chest once more, I embraced her and we stayed like that. Not bothering with the time passing by or how cold it is getting.
We both stay here as the sun starts setting, enjoying the little moment of peace that we can get in this messy life.
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