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As the driver made its way to where the ball was going to happen, my mind kept wondering how it would be to be in a place full of dangerous people, and be labeled as one of them.
The most dangerous of them all if they really think I am that much.
Yoru is surely on the list as well, top 3 of the most dangerous people alive. Yoru is surely first while I wouldn't even make it to the top 1000.
The only reason why people think I am that dangerous is because of my last name, the sweet Salvatore, a name that came all the way from Italy and ended up on my hands, making part of me and who I am.
Something that marks me everywhere I write it and makes me, me. The name Salvatore surely has its own history but that is something that I will tell to my kids one day, leaving that lovely story to the future.
Being judged by my name is taken as an advantage in this moment, people won't even dare to come close to me and if they do, they will most likely end up dead. I have to turn my heart cold for this ball and think with my brain, leaving my heart blocked on an ice cube that will be surrounding it for the rest of the night.
I never take it as the best option when it comes to blocking my own emotions, I have never had a good experience with doing that and I don't believe that it will happen. When I block them, they don't tend to easily come back to normal so fast, that is one thing that I admire in the people that are next to me in this car.
The ability that they have with their own emotions and feelings, some being stronger than others but they always manage to contain them and hide them perfectly. That is something that I long to have but also fear, being scared of suddenly just shutting it all off and never bringing it on once more.
Letting the emptiness fill me and live with nothing but the hole that would be left in my soul, the hole that the love and fear fill up, would be empty until I let those emotions come back once again.
My eyes looked outside the window as I let my thoughts fill every space that could possibly exist in my mind. Despite having all of these powerful people on my side, I still don't trust myself enough to go on and do this thing.
I feel a warm soft touch on my hand and when I turn my attention to it, I am happy as the sight of Giovanni's hand on mine is presented in front of me. He is caressing my skin softly, knowing well that it calms my nerves and I bet that if we weren't in a car full of people, he would most likely crush his lips into mine.
Just the thought of that happening makes my cheeks feel warmed and probably gain a reddish tone. I turned my gaze to the window once more, truly aware that if my eyes come in sight of Giovanni's blue ones I will melt and not be able to gain myself for the rest of the night.
Yoru had her head resting on Stefano's shoulder, she looked comfortable and joy was visible on her. It was nice to see that even when life treated her wrong she managed to find someone who makes her feel loved and comfortable.
