For Marli

69

Milani Pov

Today was valentines day, it was a lovely day for Victor and I. We had a picnic on the beach, went and seen a movie, did a sip and paint, and now we're at dinner.

We sat on the rooftop as we ate our food.

"Why haven't you got pregnant yet?" Victor asked in a joking tone, but I knew it was serious.

"Uh cause I'm on birth control. You've been trying to get me pregnant?" I Asked.

"I mean if it happened it happens. Sometimes I pull out last minute."

"You want a baby?" I asked as I took a sip of my drink.

"Yea I guess. Something to show as ours."

"We can get a puppy." I said chuckling .

"I'm guessing you don't want more kids."

"I don't."

He raised his eyebrows and said,"Well I do."

"Our Brady bunch isn't enough?" I joked.

" I love our Brady bunch, but I want to continue my legacy too. My last name and blood continued. I only have one kid." He said.

"Is this a dealbreaker for you?" I asked.

"I guess so." He said.

"You didn't think this was something we should have talked about in the beginning." I replied furrowing my eyebrows.

"Just figured it'll be something that happens down the line." He said. 

"I'm wrong on my end, I should've asked. It should've been discussed because now we basically wasted each other's time. Unless you just like accept the fact."

"So not even down the line. "

"I'm in my 30's. My oldest not even 18 yet. I spent my 20's being a mother, fresh 20's at that. If life didn't go the way it did, I would've stopped at two. I plan on getting my tubes tied as well."

"Not just one more child." He asked.

"No thank you."

"I guess this should have been discussed."he said looking into my eyes.

"I figured since you never brought it up, it was because it wasn't something you thought of,you were content, but I'm guessing you were looking forward to be surprised when I say I'm pregnant."

"I wanted it to naturally happen, like you getting pregnant would be meant to be and not planned. Here I'm thinking we were on the same page because you never complained about me not pulling out, but I now see the reason why."

"So this is how we end? "I asked.

"I mean we don't have to end things so suddenly , we just know in that regard we aren't each other's end game." Victor said.

"That's wasting time." I said.

"Yea." He agreed. This dampened the mood. We quietly ate. And made small talk.

The ride home was quiet as well. He dropped me off home. We gave each other a long hug and kiss.

I went into the house and just sat at my countertop. Sat in silence, like no this didn't just happen on Valentines day. Life really has its way in humbling you.

The door unlocking took me out of thought.

"Happy Valentine's day, mommy!" My kids said coming in.

Marli walked in with roses, Keiko came with a gift bag, Kairo with an envelope and balloons tied on his wrist. Keith followed behind with a huge teddy bear.

"Aww thank you. My hearts!" I said as they handed it to me. I hugged and kissed the kids as Keith took the teddy bear up to my room.
I opened the gift and it was a tiffany tennis bracelet. I knew Keith bought all of this, but I'm sure its what the kids wanted to get me. There was then a Valentine card with their names in it.

"I have valentine gifts for yal as well in the living room." I said as Keiko ran and Kairo followed behind. I got them all valentine baskets with candy, money, a bear, and something they wanted.

"Mama where's Victor?" Marli asked.

"He went home, I think we ended things." I said as Keith walked in on what I said.

" Oh, are you ok ?" She asked.

"Yea, just caught off guard." I said.

"I understand, I'm sorry that you are feeling this way," Marli said.

"Thanks Mars."

Marli and Keith looked at each other and I just rolled my eyes and chuckled because I know they were waiting for this moment.

I think hearing that gave Keith the ok to want to stay longer .

That night we all got in my bed and watched movies til the kids had to go to bed, for school the next day.

Keith decided to stay the night. We laid in bed and he held me,"Is it too soon to try on us again."

"Yes." I said after thinking on it.

We laid quietly and went off to sleep and he took the girls to school the next morning.

Sometimes I find myself just thinking about what it would be like if Keith and I got back together. If not that, reminiscing.

Things will feel easier, being able to raise our children together. We had a system together , everything worked. The family times we'd get to have made me miss us.  But I wonder if I'm saying this because I'm a single mother and I appreciate his convenience.

That morning I also got a text from Victor, "I'm happy with you, if you don't want anymore kids, I'll take the sacrifice."