For Marli

60

Milani pov

Keith came over for dinner and a movie with the kids and I.

All I got to say is Madison , you better than me. Because the way Keith be over here often and her eye don't twitch a bit. But then again Keith's a very trustworthy person and he's upfront. If he wanted to cheat he'd end it with her. Or tell her straight up that he wanted to be with me.  But She does call and check in every now and then.

Tonight we made homemade pizza and watched Ninja turtles.

Marli and Keiko were just all up under Keith while Kairo was under me.

While the movie was playing I was doing a little of my bible study. Reading and taking notes. I was focusing on faith. What I had faith in was God will being done. I gotten to a point where I'm content with whatever comes my way.

Actually picking this up as a hobby makes me happy and ok with the state of life I'm in.

I'd catch Keith looking over at me to check on me. It's so much love in his eyes you can't even help it. But he stands on business. Although he has love for me , he's very much in tact with his self worth to know when to move on.

Once the movie was over we put the kids into bed and he got ready to go.

"Looks like your healing journey is going good."He said as we walked out the house.

"Yea, you weren't expecting me to change were you?" I replied

"I believe you would." He said.

I giggled and said, "I don't think so."

"And what makes you think that ?"he asked.

"You got a girlfriend." I said.

"I mean we divorced  and that seems like a finalized relationship to me. Then I spent majority of your pregnancy single. You were 8 months when I met her. I believed you were going to change, but not for me. Maybe for the next man ." He said.

I didn't know what to say even though his eyes yearned for answers.

"You waited to see me with someone else to want to start this deep healing. And I promise you, I'm happy for you. But you wasn't trying to heal when the problems first arose you just mope around in this victim state. You didn't try to heal when we were separated. It was like you were waiting out for the divorce. So this healing you're doing now doesn't feel like it's for us."

"You're right." I sadly said.

"Like you get where I'm coming from? You had me feeling like filler space, I really started thinking you never really had love for me."

"Keith I love you more than anything. I promise you I love you. I'm sorry for what I did. If I could go back and fix things I would. "

"Yea Milani, I love you too." He replied.

We just quietly stared at each other until Madison called."Hey, I'm on the way home now. Alright, love you too. See you in a few."

Hearing that being said to someone instead of me broke my heart a little, almost as if all this healing went down the drain.

I breathe in and let go. What's for me,would be for me. He's happy and I'm happy for him.

He hugged me, kissing my forehead and got in his car and left.