For Marli

XXIV

Milani pov

I've been so happy with just being engaged. Keith and I went on a trip to Hawaii just to celebrate being engaged. I could honestly say I was happy. It took two months to get the wedding situated. His family and mines contributed it to make it perfect for us.

It's so crazy to see how far I've made it in love. I thought I'd be stuck in an toxic love with Chris. I felt that was all I was deserving of, but Keith thought different for me.

Today was my bachelorette day, Keith was having his bachelor day as well. We both kept it respectful to each other and we had friends that respected our expectations for each other.

I'm unsure what he did, but my girls got me right. My childhood bestfriend Zen came down to throw it, she was my maid of honor.
We all went to brunch and then the spa and got a full service there. We also went to the nail salon and the girls got their nails painted in the color scheme.

We had a backyard dinner at Rashaad and I house. 

After we ate Zen decided to make a toast," Growing up you always loved the idea of finding a Prince Charming. You'd kiss a frog, if you didn't have me stopping you and telling you how disgusting it was. You love love. You grew up in a loving home so everyone you encountered you showed nothing but love. Me growing up in a divorced household you gave me love , a sisterly love, you was a first love for me. All the random hugs and cheek kisses you gave and I love you's instead of goodbyes, meant a lot. I'm so thankful to have you as my bestfriend. Always being a lover and wanting to love someone, regardless of their issues or what they've done to you, I knew you deserve nothing but love in return. To see you finally be loved...* breaks into tears* to come from hearing you say 'Is this love?' to 'Daya I know he loves me' said enough. To see it myself....*wipes tears* I know he loves you. Sometimes I'm like who's the baby? Marli or Milani? *light chuckle* You'd be on FaceTime with me, laying on his lap and he'd just be going through your hair and you tell me he's dressing you and carrying you so your butt can stay sleep. Him taking you on surprise trips. When he brought me down for your birthday to surprise you and made the day about you and loved on you and respected you like royalty . I was sure he was the one for you. He loves you. And I love him for loving you. I approve for real. Minnie I'm so happy for you. Your time to be the one to be loved has come." I ran to her and hugged her tight crying.

Everyone was wiping tears. Because they knew what I came from and happy to see me out of it.

We did our toast and drunk until common sense left the building.

Later that night while everyone was sleep , I step outside to call Keith cause my drunk ass was missing him and the girls was tryna keep me from talking to him.

When I almost dialed, I heard, "Congrats on the engagement."

It was Chris getting out his car with a rose in his hand. It was almost as if he was camping out.

"Uh thanks." I said as he came up to me handing me the rose.

"So you getting married tomorrow?"

"Yea." I said.

"Yea gon ahead and cancel that shit." He said cornering me.

"No, back up Chris for real." I said. Smelling the liquor on his breath was triggering.

Next thing I know, he palms my chin up hard as hell making me hit my head back on the garage covering. Holding onto my head I screeched in pain. Tears started coming down my eyes.

He gripped my hair, pulling it down so I would have my head tilted up at him.

He started kissing on my neck and jaw, "Cancel it Milani." He sucked on my neck,"Cancel it, if you love me."

"Milani you said you love me."
"You wasn't gonna leave me"
"Remember?" He said jerking my head.
I was really hoping someone would come and save me.
"Milani , baby give me a kiss, so I know you love me." He kissed my lips and made out with my lips, I didn't kiss back.
"KISS ME MILANI." He said head butting me. I cried harder and made out with him.  He pushed up on me so I could feel his hard member and continued to make out with me.
"Cancel it and be with me baby." He said against my lips.

"I can't get my chance back with you if you're married bug. I let you have your good time with that nigga but marriage? Nah" Chris said.

"You told me if we cross paths it was meant to be, I'm crossing your path so you're gonna be with me ."he continued.

"I'm gonna marry him . I love him." I said before he slapped me with his free hand.

"You shouldn't have said that, I'm the one with the upper hand right now." Hearing those words triggered me so bad. He always said that to me for every traumatic situation we was in. I always felt defenseless every time .

I started hitting on him going ballistic on him before he pushed me down to the ground. He hovered over me as I cried.

"I gave you a chance Chris, so many chances! I loved you through so much. SO MUCH CHRISTOPHER! LET ME GO PLEASE!! I love you but you gotta let me go. I gave you a chance and you said if you fuck up you was gonna leave me alone for life. Let me go please, please , please, please." I cried.

A switch came back on and it was like he finally realized what he was doing. His tears fell on my face, "I love you too much, I love you too much MiMi , the most love I ever received was from you. When the world didn't love me, I knew you did."

He got up off me and backed away, "I love you too much . I love too much . Too much. Too much."

I sat up and cried to him "Chris I love you. For me to know you love me continue to live please. If you love me, live. Enjoy life while you have it. Love yourself. Get right please . When you're healed you can talk to me anytime, send me letters whatever. Keith knows I'm gonna always look out for you, so you won't lose me if you just do right. Please let go of me and hold on to you. Only you can make this right. I want to see you do great and prosper. Do it if you love me Maurice."

He wiped his tears and nodded. "I love you. I will get better. I'm sorry Milani, please forgive me." He got in his car and left. I sat there for a moment and just cried. I prayed he wouldn't hurt himself. I didn't care if he ruined the wedding tomorrow, I only cared about him living and not letting go of himself.

I got up, brushed myself off and went back in the house. I went into the bathroom to straighten myself up and I went back in the living room. I got under the covers with Zen as she slept. She cuddled me in and went back to sleep. I laid there quietly til I too went to sleep.