Lycan - The Human Mate (fr/eng)

Josh bonus POV 3

I quickly find Sabrina in the crowd, who bought a book from a kiosk. Shadow and I immediately spots said books. How could we not when it has her smell all over it? When Sabrina sees me, her eyes sparkles.

"Hey! Goddess Josh, you'll never—"

"I know," I interrupt her more brutally than needed. "If you've finish, we'd better leave. Now."

Sabrina frowns, but I know from her eyes that she understands who I just met. It's clear she doesn't understand why I'm like this. She probably expected me to be estatic. I was. Until a minute ago.

"Yeah, they accepted." She nods.

"Then let's go." I head for the exit.

Sabrina sticks close to me. She must feel that if she doesn't, I'll leave this place weither she's in the car or not. I bet she's also curious to know what happened.

Shadow grips the floor in its claws as we leave and whines. He could have clawed my heart and it would have been the same.

Don't make it more difficult please.

He only whines and howls of pain. I tighten my fist as I spot the car. Once seated inside, I slam the poor metallic door so harshly Sabrina jolts. She doesn't say anything, but I can feel her eyes on me. I growl as I start the car and open the GPS.

"Anything necessary at the hotel?" I ask.

"No," Sabrina answers cautiously. "I knew we'd leave directly. Everything's in the trunk."

"Good," I grunt.

Thanks the Goddess, Sabrina understands to leave us alone. I drive and drive and drive. It still doesn't feel enough after a decade. I open the window to let the wind refresh my thoughts and maybe carry away the bleeding pain. Well, the body bleeds, but what about the soul? I might not know what's it's called, but it's definitely the equivalent that's pouring out of me right now. It's like a thread of the weaving of my soul attached itself to Nat and the more distance is put, the more it comes undone. It's a twinge above my navel that's pulling me being and it's tearing me apart right now.

Goddess why? What cruelty have I committed to deserve this?

Of course no one answered. No one except the guilt choking my throat. Perhaps it's even worse.

For the next hours, I drive silently, hesitant to drop the car at any moment to simply run all the way back home. The only thing keeping me from actually doing that is the doubt that I might be running in the opposite direction instead. Back to her.

So I keep driving.

Way past the sunset, near midnight, I guess that my sister feels that I've calmed down enough because she finally asks what's been on her mind for hours :

"How mad was she?"

"Not enough."

I growl or whine or do a mix of both. Nat was calm, all the fucking time. Way too much calm. How could she? I know that it's only when I'm enraged that I'm deadly-calm like that. That it is when I'm silent that they should be wary. But she isn't like me, or any other Lycan. Unlike us, Nat always had that incredible ability to control her emotion and stay focused. To never let her emotion run her life. But that can't be good. I've always only felt good once that I let my emotion go. She couldn't feel good. It wasn't healthy.

I suddenly realize my error. I didn't let her speak out. I didn't thought about how she felt much. She showed only a fraction of her anger, but never all of it. I didn't listen.

But it's too late now. Once again, I've messed up. It would probably be worse if I go back. Better leave it as it is.

I can hear the smile of Sabrina in her voice : "You're lucky to still be alive. This girl is waaaaaay too merciful."