MAROON

XXXIV. Fifth Year: I'm So Sorry, Reggie

September 1, 1976 (Wednesday)

REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACK

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Being locked up Grimmuald Place while dealing with your newly realized crush on James Potter that has been slowly building up for who knows how long isn't exactly the ideal situation so naturally he was excited when it was finally September 1st.

He had been selected to be a prefect this year and he prayed that Hezekiah hadn't. He just wanted to escape away from all of that drama and save from explaining it to his friends. He would deeply appreciate if he didn't have to sit in the same compartment as his ex boyfriend for nine hours.

He entered the prefect compartment to find he was one of the last ones to arrive. He found Kian sitting next to and talking to Remus Lupin so he quickly sat down next to him. Lily Evans was also sitting up against the window next to Remus.

"Oh hey, Reg. Did you get a chance to catch Hez on your way here? I think he was by the bathrooms with Aidan?" Kian asked him.

"Um no, I didn't see them," he lied. He had seen them he had just sneaked by.

"All right prefects, listen up," the head girl announced to them all. She had long blonde wavy hair and green eyes. She was wearing a Ravenclaw tie and the brunette head boy next to her was wearing a Hufflepuff one. "I'm Calista Clearwater and this is Amos Diggory. We are your head girl and boy this year."

Regulus recognized her then. Her and her twin sister Annalise were the Ravenclaw beaters. Their older brother had been the Ravenclaw keeper, but he had graduated last year. He also sort of recognized Amos. He believed he was a Hufflepuff chaser, but he could be wrong.

Amos and Calista went over their rounds for the rest of the train ride and for the first week of school as well as just how being a prefect works. Barty and Evan were both prefects now and so was Pandora. Regulus got put with rounds with Kian which he was glad about.

They both left the compartment side by side. "You didn't seem very happy about the mention of Hez," Kian noted.

"We broke up," he explained. He didn't see why he had to keep it all a secret from Kian. "It wasn't really for any bad reason. One of us didn't cheat or anything like that. It's my fault really."

Kian nodded slowly. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright. We were just each others first loves. It was never going to be anything long lasting."

"Doesn't mean you still aren't allowed to be upset about it."

Before Regulus could respond they came face to face with Sirius and of course James. Regulus hated the stupid fucking flips his stomach did when he saw him. "Fuck off, both of you," he quickly said.

"Come on, Regulus. Can I please talk to you? I promise it will be quick," Sirius asked practically begging him.

Regulus crossed his arms begrudgingly and he thought about just walking away, but he caved in eventually. "Fine, you have five minutes, but lose Potter, please."

"Come on, you can't ignore me all year, Regulus. I'm your Quidditch captain this year," James announced.

Great. Fucking great. "Yes, but I can ignore you now so please get out of my line of sight." That was the thing though, he didn't exactly want James out of his line of sight and that only made him more infuriating.

James flashed him a hurt look before he walked away. Kian followed him. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, Reggie. I shouldn't have left without you. It wasn't right nor fair. I put you in danger by telling you about Uncle Alphard and then I got pissed at you when you were in danger and forced to protect yourself. I shouldn't have got mad about you telling them I told you. I'm so bloody sorry."

Regulus refused to meet his eye because he really didn't know if he could. He was afraid of what would happen if he did and now Sirius was looking at him right now. "You're not wrong," he replied coldly.

"But you were also an arsehole, Reg," Sirius continued. "You didn't even hesitate to tell them. I wouldn't have been so pissed if you had considered your options before ratting me out to our whole family."

Regulus still didn't meet his eye and they fell silent for what had to be minutes before Sirius finally spoke again, "For fucks sake, will you at least look at me, Reg!"

He reluctantly finally did look up at his older brother. Sirius looked so upset and this was what he was afraid of. This was all far too emotional for him right now and it only got worse when he looked over Sirius's shoulder and saw James lingering at the end of the hall. He was looking straight at him with a sympathetic look and Regulus felt so bloody overwhelmed by everything. His mind wandered to his parents. What would they think of him right now? Nothing good at all. He was the bloody heir and he wasn't doing anything to make his family proud. He was a disgrace and he always ended up hurting everyone he ever loved. Sirius, Hezekiah, James. Who was bloody next?

He felt the panic attack coming. "I can't do this right now. I really can't."

He ran off towards the bathrooms ignoring James who called out after him. He really hoped James didn't follow him. He didn't want James to see him like this. Well, he didn't want anyone to, but especially James. He had been getting panic attacks a lot in the past six months. It all just got too much at times and it got hard for him to breathe. The only person who knew about them was Hezekiah.

He slid down the bathroom wall as his chest tightened and heaved. He brought his legs up to his chest and he rested his face against them. Sobs fell out of mouth and he tried to muffle them against his knee.

Eventually, he felt someone reach out a touch his arms, moving them so they could see him. He came face to face with Hezekiah Fawley. "Shit, Reg. Come on breathe with me."

He followed Hez's breathing until his own breathing got under control. He instinctively leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Hez who did the same back. Hezekiah held onto him tight. "I'm sorry," he sobbed against Hez's shoulder.

"It's okay, Reg. I'm not mad. I wasn't lying when I said I wasn't."

"I know, but you don't have to be helping me right now after all that happened in July."

"Why wouldn't I? You're still my bloody best friend, Regulus," Hezekiah said. His voice revealed that he was now crying too.

That only made Regulus hug him tighter and cry more. They just both sat there crying in each other's arms on the bathroom floor. "This world doesn't deserve you Hezekiah Fawley."

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Just a little angsty chapter for you all 😀 I promise I will make the next one happier to make up for this one.

Words: 1,200