𝐒𝐲𝐧 ┃𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

140. 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑰𝒏𝒗𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

Syn

"If I could, I would."

You very much can.

She might have been the only person I'd willingly let trap me.

I blinked a couple of times at the stark difference in her energy from only moments ago and she pressed her lips together into a smile. "Sit?" She gestured toward the empty chair.

"Do I need to?" I whispered and she let out a small huff of laughter.

"Please?" She asked. "It'll make me feel more in control of this conversation and I kind of need that...?"

Need? Fuck me...I immediately sat down when she said that, but then I stood up again and crossed my arms when her words truly set in. "Me standing above you makes you...not feel in control?" I pieced it together.

She looked up at me. "Sometimes. You can be intimidating so it helps if you're," she lifted her hand lower than chest level, "here. Just while I talk to you about this. I'm not sure I'll be able to if you're just," she swallowed hard, "looking down at me like that."

With that, I sat back down. I could understand that somewhat. I was almost a foot taller than her and I never intended for my height to intimidate her, but I never knew it did. She had never said anything before.

"Okay." She let out a breath before rubbing her palms along the robe. "Sorry, I'm kind of nervous."

I smiled. She was adorable. "Are you going to propose?" I asked.

She looked around. "We're already engaged, no?"

I tilted my head. "Yes..."

"I'm sorry." She gave me a small smile. "A lot is going on in my head right now."

I nodded.

"I killed Lilith," she said finally.

"I'm aware."

"Yes," she said. "You know about the succubus stuff. But I don't know if you remember...I took her powers from her a long time ago."

I nodded once again. "Yes, I remember."

"Well, when I killed her, that activated that too."

I decided to play dumb just a little longer before I admitted my part in this. "Her magic?" I asked.

"Dark magic," she said and I looked at her intently. She paused, reaching out and moving my chin to the right so I couldn't look at her. "But yes. It woke up a few things inside me. I thought controlling them would be what was best for me, but it started to become harder— painful even." I looked back at her and she crouched down in front of me, using my knee as support. "I decided to stop fighting, Syn."

Okay..."What does that mean?"

"Well, before, it felt like separate entities were living inside me," she said. "But once I accepted it...everything just came together."

"How do you feel?"

"Physically?" She asked, looking up at me.

"All of it."

"Physically, I'm fine," she looked down at her hand. "Mentally and emotionally? Not so good." Her eyes met mine again and I could see the war happening behind them. Her eyes watered all over again and guilt thrashed against my ribcage— I did this. I reached out to hold her and she stopped me. "Don't worry. It's not because of the dark magic or anything. Don't blame yourself."

Blame myself...

I let out a breath. "You knew?"

"I mean I had a little bit of time to think earlier in the hospital. I had a feeling you didn't send Lilith to me for no reason."