𝐒𝐲𝐧 ┃𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

55. 𝐻𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑦

May 11, 2023

Queen

I sat with him on the bed for hours, just listening. Once he started talking, he didn't stop. Everything was just flowing out of his mouth in a way I had never seen from him before. He was always so careful with his words and thought before he said most things, but as he told me everything...there was no break to think. He was telling me the complete truth and it shattered me to hear it.

I stayed silent as he told me about his nightmares. He didn't go into much detail about them but I knew they were horrible enough to make him never want to sleep again. He explained in depth how he and Stella met and how she introduced him to the drugs. Anger flowed through me again at the mention of their toxic relationship, but I calmed myself down and rested in the fact that she'd never be a problem again.

"And now." He sighed. "Here we are." We looked at each other for a moment and he rubbed his hands together, no doubt trying to ease his nerves. "You haven't said anything. You're only crying..."

"I didn't want to interrupt you," I admitted, wiping my face. That and I didn't know what to say after everything. I'd been wanting to know for weeks what was going on with him, but now that I knew, I couldn't do anything but sit here and look at this beautiful yet troubled man I was completely in love with.

"I see," he said, looking down at his hands. "Did I say too much?"

"Come here," I whispered, holding out my arms. I couldn't find the exact words I needed to say to him, but I hoped he'd just know. There was no turning back now and I was one hundred percent locked in and ready for anything. He leaned forward and I wrapped my arms around his head, pulling him against my chest. He let out a small laugh at the gesture and I kissed the top of his head. "Everything is going to be okay."

"Princess, I'm not a kid. I can handle the truth." He looked up at me. "If you need time-"

"I don't need any more time away from you, but I am lying about everything being okay," I said honestly. "I don't know the first thing about drugs or how...to help, or if you even want help! I didn't even ask..." I groaned. "So I have no idea what's going to happen. All I know is that I'm going to be with you and the rest...we'll just have to go through it."

"No." He sighed, pulling away. "I don't want to burden you with this. I got myself into this and-"

"If you tell me that you're going to get yourself out, I'm going to lose it," I warned him in an annoyed tone. He smiled at my reaction and I rolled my eyes. "Why is it so hard for you to just let me help you, Syn? You married me for fuck's sake and yet you can't put your pride aside long enough to turn to me for help. Asking for help doesn't make you weak."

He looked at me for a long moment before sighing. "Promise?"

"I promise. At least with me. I'm your girl, you know?"

"Okay." He nodded.

"Okay..."

He took a deep breath and looked into my eyes, finally giving in. "Help me," he said softly. "I'm not sure I can do this alone and I..."

"You what?"

"I need your assistance."

"Is that the best I'm going to get from you?"

"Take it or leave it."

"I'll take it!" He smiled at my quick words but there was a sadness still lingering behind his eyes as he looked at me. "What is it?"

"I don't know what to do," he admitted to me.

"Well." I thought. "First thing is to ask you what you want to do. I can't force you to stop taking them...you have to want to for yourself."