𝐒𝐲𝐧 ┃𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

103. 𝑁𝑒𝑒𝑑

Aiden

I sighed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and thinking over my words. Maybe I had let myself get a bit carried away. I didn't think I needed to censor myself considering the asshole never did, but of course, there was a catch with everything. What I was wearing, me showering, drying my hair...?

It was all done in consideration for her yet all she could do was nitpick it.

It wasn't fair. Usually, I had a grace period after taking on a new form. A period in which I could study their habits and truly emanate their characteristics- the way they thought...the way they treated the people close to them...I didn't have any of that this time around. I was just thrown into the shit— of course, I messed up. I had a feeling I would which was why I planned to make love to her and let her fall asleep so I could look around this place for answers.

But clearly, things worked out differently.

I let a hit of disgust send shivers through my body before exhaling and standing up. Even being in this body didn't feel right yet. The man was tall. I found myself misjudging distance plenty of times in the past few hours— hit my head a couple of times on the doorways.

The bright side of things right now was that she wasn't in here— meaning I could look around and try to find something. I'd take anything at this point to help with the bullshit apology I'd have to conjure up by morning. Women- sensitive little things.

I started searching the room. First the nightstands, then the closet— any tiny detail would help...they always did.

I checked dressers, pockets of trousers, and shirts. Nothing. I figured they didn't stay here often but I at least hoped he had a journal or something. Aiden had a journal— good kid, that one. His death and identity weren't one I targeted. He just happened to be at the wrong place at the right time- for me. Not for him. Which was a shame. He had a long career ahead of him.

My hand dipped beside the headboard, feeling around for anything. Just for the hell of it.

My hand grazed a small leather item and I froze momentarily before pulling it out. I held it up, eyeing the notebook with curiosity before standing up and sitting on the bed. The whistle of the wind blew into the room- reminding me just how pissed off Queen was and I shook my head before reaching for the lamp beside me.

I pulled on the string once— then twice before lowering my head past the shade and taking in the shattered lightbulb.

"Bitch," I whispered before standing up and walking out of the room, notebook in hand. I headed downstairs and flipped on the light in the living room before taking a seat on one of the dining chairs.

I opened the small notebook and my face fell. It was empty. Just lines upon lines page after page. No words were scribbled across them and all the hope that I had conjured up after this discovery was crushed into pieces. I yelled in frustration, throwing the notebook on the floor.

A small piece of paper- unlike the ones bonded to the notebook stuck out at the top of the pages. Ah. I smiled, walking over to it. I picked up the notebook, grabbing the note from between the pages. I unfolded it against the notebook curiously, my smile growing larger as I saw the faint handwriting through the white paper.

When it was finally unfolded completely, two papers stared back at me. One with a list of names crossed out in red— the only one not crossed off, being circled. 'Xavia'.

"Xavia..." I whispered slowly, teasing the name on my tongue before nodding. I recalled that name- Queen's deceased daughter. I didn't know much other than what everyone in the underworld knew...but I'd have to learn more.

I moved the paper behind the other and squinted my eyes as I stared at a long...letter maybe? I read the first few lines- each one beginning to leave a sour taste in my mouth as the realization of what this was began to come into my mind.

His vows.

I was infuriated...seeing the passionate words made something in my chest crack as they scorched my eyes. "But when you came along, I mean, as soon as I met you, everything inside of me screamed that I needed you."

My fingers dug into the page. I felt the same. My love for Queen wasn't born- it didn't grow. It snatched my soul and took my breath the second I met her- I needed her. Did he need her as I did?

I lost everything I knew about self-control when you came into my life.

You intrigued me.

Thoughts of you frustrated me.

Images of you in my mind terrorized me...

I must've read the paper five times over before it was unbearable. I was furious. Not because I thought he loved her—but because he had read this shit to Queen at some point and she probably believed him.

My naive girl.

I tore the paper in my hands- obliterating each torn piece between my fingers before they fell to the floor in an unrecognizable heap of trash. I'd write something better for her one day. Something honest. Something he evidently couldn't do with her judging by her reaction to my words today, and now by these vows.

I knew monsters like Syn— I knew what he was...

Lucifer created me with love in his heart- Lilith had betrayed him but he loved her and made me in her image. Syn on the other hand was born out of deceit, hatred, and betrayal. He didn't know what love was nor did he deserve the right to possess it. He didn't deserve her. I did.

And truthfully if the man looked past himself for even a second, he'd know that I was better for Queen as well.

I'd experienced lifetimes of love over the centuries. In different bodies- different people...I was always able to fall into each of their lives without notice. I was good at this- loving another person for someone. I wanted to experience it for myself- as myself, but it never happened. I almost believed I was incapable of true love until I saw her. I had never felt that before. It was no surprise to me that I grasped onto that feeling and treasured it. I became addicted to her attention- her smile...everything about the girl.

I had played the waiting game all these years, but now it was my turn. I needed to make it count. If I had to be Syn for her to love me the way I needed her to, then I would do that.

Everything else would be figured out later.

My body sparked with a small tinge of fire, sending an impulse to my mind as I became keenly aware of the sudden company and I looked slowly toward the front door. A smile spread across my face as I tucked my hands into my pockets and walked past the living room.

Syn was a smart guy. I knew it was only a matter of time until he figured out my clue about Drake was bullshit. I knew he would- I just didn't expect it so soon, but it didn't matter anyway.

I had everyone right where I wanted them.

꧁꧂

Well...

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